


Round... How Many Have We Done Again?

by AstariaSnow



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternia, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Many times and 50/50 chance it sticks, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Trollstuck, everone is here, no beta we die like every single character, troll!kids
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:21:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27519058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstariaSnow/pseuds/AstariaSnow
Summary: Maybe the Game glitched? Maybe it didn't like members from four different sessions all crowded on one platform? Whatever the case, it seemingly tried to put everyone back where they came from, and in true SBURB/SGRUB fashion, fucked up spectacularly!
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Sollux Captor/Aradia Megido
Comments: 56
Kudos: 110





	1. Act 1 Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was disappointed by the seeming lack of Trollstuck fics. That combined with procrastinating work for my degree and my inability to only have one project going at a time has brought you this wonderful clusterfuck! I'm gonna need an excel sheet to keep track of all the relationships even though I don't think this is going to be a relationship centered fic.

Because of course SBURB would take one last opportunity to fuck with all of you and re-ruin your lives for at least the third time.

Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you just woke up in immense discomfort, not aided by the cold hard floor underneath you. Your glasses are haphazardly perched on your face, but currently you head hurts far too much to attempt to open your eyes. You groaned, your voice sounded a little weird, but that was probably the headache. You reached up to your head to cover your eyes from the blinding light leaking in, and also to try and relieve some of the pressure in your head. Everything felt weird, you skin didn’t feel right, your insides felt like they’d been moved an inch to the left, and as previously stated your head was about to split open. Were you hungover? You’d never touched alcohol in your life outside of one mix up at the age of six involving two identical glasses containing ginger ale and champagne respectively. If this was what being hungover felt like why would anyone ever drink? What were you doing? You were on the victory platform. Almost everyone had been there, about to jump into your new universe to live the rest of your days in an early retirement with superpowers.

Someone was moving beside you. The rustling of clothing grated like nails on a chalkboard against your ears. The shout that followed nearly brought tears to your eyes.

“Who the fuck are you!?”

You peal your eyelids open. A silhouette you recognize is towering over you, partially blocking out the light.

“Vriska?”

Your eyes adjust in time to see hers go wide, “John????!!!!”

The look of horror on her face made no sense. You may feel like shit, but not lethal levels of shit. Also…

“What are you doing here? You weren’t on the platform.”

“John, I don’t think that’s the most pressing question right now.”

What?

“What?” You thought of something even more clever to say, “Where are we?”

The great unshakable Vriska Serket looked on the edge of some sort of break down. She took a deep breath and knelt next to you instead of looming imposingly. You winced (hissed????) at the light as it really did make tears well in your eyes.

“Oh, shit.” She jumped out of your range of vision and there was a click, followed by wonderful glorious almost darkness. She returned to your side just in time for the thought that laying on the floor wasn’t very dignified, especially in front of a girl that you kinda sorta maybe still liked just a little bit. You try to get up.

“Oh no you don’t. You aren’t moving until we know you aren’t going to die.”

“What?”

“Real eloquent, Egbert.” She pushed you back to the floor, which was good because the second you tried to move black started encroaching on your vision.

“Why do I feel like I just got unfrozen from carbonite?”

“Do you… Can you not… John, do you know what you look like right now?” Vriska had her lips pursed. Where had all her snark and fire gone? What was going on?

“The same as five minutes ago when everyone was standing on the victory platform.”

You could see pretty well in even this low light, and you saw when Vriska Serket blanched, _blanched_.

“Just stay still, okay?” Without waiting for an answer, she got up and walked over to a desk, plucked what appeared to be a small mirror of it, came back over, and held it up for you to look into.

What.

The.

Fuck.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened memo: ROLLCALL FUCKFACES –

CG: WHAT IN THE EVER-LOVING FUCK IS GOING ON?  
CG: I’M GOING TO NEED EVERYONE TO CHECK IN RIGHT THIS INSTANT.  
CG: AND ALSO, COULD SOMEONE POSSIBLY TELL ME WHY I’M BACK IN MY HIVE ON BULDGESNIFFING ALTERNIA?

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] joined memo –

GC: TH4T 1S 4 V3RY GOOD QU3ST1ON. 1 4M 4LR1GHT 4ND B4CK 1N MY H1V3.  
CG: WELL THAT’S ONE!

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] joined memo –

GA: I Am Also Alright Physically. However, I Am Disconcerted Because My Status As A Rainbow Drinker Seems To Be No More.  
GC: YOU M33N YOU 4N3T UND34D 4NYMOR3?  
GA: Seemingly No.  
GA: Also, Has Anyone Heard From Our Human Friends? Rose Is Not Responding.

\-- apocalypseArisen [AA] joined memo –

AA: i can account for one of the humans  
AA: dave is with me in my old ruined hive  
AA: but theres a bit of a situation /:  
CG: ARADIA IT IS SO NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU BUT PLEASE DON’T LEAVE US HANGING WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] joined memo –

AG: Would aaaaaaaany of you idiots h8ppen to know why we are 8ack on Alternia????????  
AG: Or why John is in my hive????????  
AG: Or why he 8ppears to be a troll????????  
CG: WHAT…  
AA: i would also like those questions answered but for dave instead of john.

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] joined memo –

AC: :33< hello efuryone!  
CG: OH MY GOG NEPETA YOU’RE ALIVE!  
AC: :33< yes!  
AC: also im here! this is jade btw! XD  
AC: :33< jade is here as well. She is looking pury troll like.  
GC: WH4T TH3 FUCK…  
CG: ALRIGHT ONE OF YOU FUCKS WHO CURRENTLY HAS A HUMAN WITH YOU EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!  
AG: John 8ppears to be in shock.  
AG: He also s8ys his he8d hurts too much to move.  
CG: WELL AT LEAST HE’S AWAKE.  
AA: dave is in a very similar state  
AA: ghosts seem to be bothering him :(

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] joined memo –

TA: what the fuck ii2 goiing on?  
TA: ii am back iin my hiive and not bliind anymore.  
TA: hi AA.  
CG: SOLLUX! GREAT! THAT’S ONE MORE PERSON TO PUT ON THE ‘NOT CURRENTLY DEAD’ LIST!  
AC: :33< one meowment. i have a second compurrter for jade to use somewhere.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] joined memo –

GG: hi!  
GG: soooo….  
GG: im not sure whats up with everyone else  
GG: but my skin is grey and i have horns.  
GC: YOU DON’T S33M TO B3 1NC4P4C1T4T3D L1K3 TH3 OTH3RS?  
GG: i mean, my head hurts a little, but thats probably because im not used to horns.  
GA: Jade, If You Don’t Mind Me Asking, What Blood Color Are You?  
GG: one moment  
AC: :33< it’s the same color as mine.  
GA: Could It Be Possible That Dave And John Are Both In Psychic Castes?  
AG: Shit.  
AG: Ye8h, John 8nd I seem to sh8re a color.  
CG: WHICH I GATHER MEANS HE HAS THE SAME MAGIC MIND CONTROL HOOFBEASTSHIT THAT YOU DO.  
CG: ALSO, PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN’T JUST CUT HIM TO FIND THAT OUT.  
AG: Karkat, even iiiiiiii underst8nd there is sometimes a line.  
CG: DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH  
GA: If We Can Assume Dave And Rose Are Placed Similarly, I Am Concerned As To Where She Could Be.  
CG: I SHOULD ADD ERIDAN TO THE ‘CONFIRMED DEAD’ LIST RIGHT NOW THEN. OR POSSIBLY GAMZEE. EITHER WAY, WHICHEVER OF THOSE HIGHBLOOD CREEPS SHE’S WITH IS IN FAR MORE DANGER THAN SHE IS.  
CG: OH THAT’S RIGHT, ERIDAN MIGHT BE ALIVE.  
CG: I FEEL LIKE A ‘NO REVENGE KILLING’ RULE SHOULD BE STATED FOR THE RECORD HERE AND NOW.  
CG: BEFORE ANY OF YOU GET ANY IDEAS.  
GG: eridan was the creepy one that hit on rose and i right?  
GC: Y3S.  
AG: Ye8h……..  
GA: Almost Definitely.  
TA: yep.  
GG: oh wow  
GG: what did he do?  
CG: THREW A SHITFIT AND TRIED TO LOWER OUR NUMBERS BY THREE AT THE SAME TIME GAMZEE AND VRISKA WERE THROWING THEIR OWN SHITFITS.  
AG: It w8s not a shitfit.  
AG: It w8s sever8l pour decisions on my p8rt.  
AG: Which h8ve been spoken a8out 8t length 8nd don’t need to 8e dredged up 8g8in.  
GG: …  
CG: WAIT, WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER FOUR HUMANS?  
CG: AND LORD ENGLISH’S LITTERMATE?  
CG: IF THE COLORS SHIT HOLDS ONE OF THE FUCKS SHOULD BE WITH KANAYA.  
CG: THE ONE WITH NO PANTS.  
GA: I Have Yet To Find Anyone Else In My Hive.  
CG: TEREZI?  
GC: NO ON3S H3R3 BUT M3.  
GG: :(  
GG: maybe they’re with the others?

\-- adiosToreador [AT] joined memo –

\-- cuttlefishCuller [CC] joined memo –

\-- centaursTesticle [CT] joined memo –

AC: :33< *ac pounced on ct because she’s happy to see him*  
CT: D--> I am quite relieved to see you as well.  
CC: )(ello ---Everyone!  
AT: hELLO. iT'S NICE TO SEE EVERYONE AGAIN. aLIVE AND ALL.  
CG: THREE MORE NAMES TO ADD TO THE NOT DEAD LIST!  
CG: AND OF COURSE THE LAST TWO TO GET IN HERE ARE THE ONES WHO PROABLY HAVE LALONDE.  
CG: DO ANY OF YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE ONE OF THE CURRENT FIVE MISSING HUMANS OR CHERUB?  
CC: No 38(  
AT: nO?  
CT: D--> I do not.  
CG: SHIT SHIT SHIT!  
CG: ALRIGHT. ARADIA, HOW’S DAVE DOING?  
AA: I’ve made the ghosts leave him alone for now, but I can’t hold them off for long.  
AA: I’m afraid we may be in a sticky spot besides.  
AA: As you all remember my hive was blown up.  
AA: Well it’s still very much blown up.  
CG: SHIT! WHO’S CLOSEST?  
CG: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LIVE OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF GRUBFUCKING NOWHERE!?  
CT: D--> Myself and Ms.Serket are closest.  
AG: I don’t think it would 8e a good idea to leave John 8lone.  
TA: ii can get two AA’2 place iin an hour.  
AA: With Sollux’s help we should be able to get to Vriska’s well before sunrise.  
CG: OH YEAH, LET’S JUST PUT THE THREE MOST POWERFUL PSYCHICS CURRENTLY ON ALTERNIA IN A ROOM TOGETHER! WHAT COULD GO WRONG? THE LAST TIME THAT HAPPENED WENT PERFECTLY!  
TA: kk do you have a better iidea?  
CG: NOPE! I DON’T TRUST THE SWEATTY HORSE GUY WITH A ROYALTY COMPLEX TO NOT PULL SOME PANWARPING SHIT.  
CG: AND AS MUCH AS IT HURTS, VRISKA’S RIGHT THAT LEAVING A FRESHLY MINTED PSYCHIC ALONE IS SO DUMB ANYONE WHO DID WOULD DESERVE TO BE CULLED.  
CG: WE HAVE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO FAIL OURSELVES INTO THIS SITUATION.  
TA: iim not readiing any more of thiis. AA iill be there iin an hour.

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] is offline –

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] joined memo –

CG: I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH GOOD TIMING IN MY LIFE HOLY SHIT!  
CA: Eridan sends his greetings. This is Rose.  
CG: EVEN BETTER!  
CG: THAT MEANS THE ‘UNACCOUNTED FOR: COULD BE LITTERALLY ANYWHERE IN FIVE DIFFERENT GALAXIES’ LIST NOW ONLY HAS SIX NAMES ON IT!  
CA: What names are still on the list?  
CG: GAMZEE AND EVERYONE FROM THE FINAL SESSION.  
GA: Rose Are You Alright.  
CA: I am quite alright considering I am currently breathing at a depth of several hundred feet.  
CA: Though I will admit that a change in address would be appreciated.  
CC: )(e )(asn’t been too muc)( of a dick )(as )(e?  
CA: The threat of needles to the brain stem stopped any dickish behavior before it could get too far.  
GG: you still have your specibis? :O  
CA: Unfortunately, no. There was a sowing kit on his desk.  
CG: AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE THAT IMAGE FRAMED SO I CAN HANG IT ON THE WALL OF MY RESPITEBLOCK, THIS MAKES GAMZEE THE ONLY TROLL UNACCOUNTED FOR.  
GA: That’s… Concerning.  
CG: NO SHIT.  
AT: i COULD GO CHECK ON HIM.  
CG: NO OFFENCE TAVROS, BUT IF HE’S STILL ON A CRAZY MURDER RAMPAGE I DON’T THINK YOU COULD OUTRUN HIM IN YOUR CHAIR.  
AT: hE WOULDN’T HURT ME, aT LEAST i DON’T THINK HE EVER WOULD.  
CG: LET’S PUT THE ‘CHECK ON THE MURDER CLOWN’ PLAN ON HOLD FOR THE TIME BEING.  
CG: HE MAY JUST LOG ON AND START MESSAGING SOMEONE.  
AG: 8e right 8ack. Somethings up with John.

Vriska had been tapping away at her phone for 30 minutes or 30 seconds, you couldn’t tell. Eventually you had managed to prop yourself up without passing out, but your head was still doing something you didn’t understand, and it sucked.

At some point Vriska came over and sat next to you, offering her phone, screen down. “Can you look at light yet?”

You shrug and wince, “I don’t know. Why can’t I?”

“Beats me. Might be going from diurnal to nocturnal has your brain confused.”

“I can see just fine now.”

“Well duh, nocturnal.” She held out her phone again, “I turned the brightness all the way down. Never thought you’d be one to need coddling, Egbert.”

“Never thought you’d be one to be nice, Serket.” You take the phone and flip it over so the light of the screen shines in your face. After a moment of blinking your eyes adjust enough to read the Trollian window.

“I would say a hatefriend showing up in my hive half dead and in a different body counts as extenuating circumstances.”

You read over the messages and can feel some of the fear draining away. Your closest friends are all accounted for, and everyone seemed okay, more or less. It seemed like you and Dave were in the worst shape. And…

“Dave’s coming here?”

Vriska cocked an eyebrow, “Yep. Not sure how having five psychics all in one house will go, but again, I am willing to make some sacrifices during emergencies such as these.”

The light from the phone has started to make blackness edge your vision again, so you flip it back over and close your eyes.

“Why does my head hurt so bad.” Something else computed through the mental fog, “Wait, _five_ psychics?”

“Yeah… About that. I guess SGRUB matched all your blood colors perfectly when it dumped us all back here on this shithole planet. It went off your text color and chose closest. So, Dave is the same sign as Aradia, Jade with Nepeta, Rose with Eridan, and you with me.”

This was too much, “So I can do that weird put people to sleep thing you can do.”

“I do far more than ‘weird put people to sleep thing’! You offend me, John. That’s all I could do on humans because you were all as psychically deaf as species come. Trolls are a whole other game.”

In no universe do you want to deal with this right now. You just wanted to sit in a quite corner and wake up from this nightmare. The Game not only killed your father, stuck you on a ship alone for three years, made you watch your family die and then reset everything only to do it again. Now it had taken your body and stuck you in a different one which you guess is also yours but not really yours and this was awful.

A voice cut through your downward spiral, “John? John! Damn it, John, you need a moirail. Where’s Karkat when you need him? He’s a slut when it comes to pale feelings.”

You couldn’t talk, but you were back to reality, legs pulled up to your chest as you pointedly don’t look at your newly grey skin.

Vriska sighed, looking around as if for someone to tap out for her. Finding no such unlucky victim, she turns back to you. “John, you look like you’re about to lose it. I would normally say get over it, but under the circumstances, would you like me to put you to sleep until the others get here?”

You think about it for only a second. Sleep sounds desperately nice, being able to skip any amount of time. Maybe your head would feel better. You nod.

Vriska put her hands to her temples, some sort of blue glow popped up on her brow, and then the sweet release of deep black sleep claims you.

AG: I’m 8ack. John’s sleeping it off for the next few hours.  
CG: VRISKA YOU DID NOT JUST KNOCK HIM OUT!  
AG: C8n it, I 8sked first.  
GG: could you tell him to message me when he wakes up?  
GG: also ask him if he has roxy or janes handle  
GG: i have jakes but they aren’t getting through ):  
AG: Gl8dly. Pl8ying moirail for Eg8ert w8s weird.  
GG: what?  
CG: OH GOD I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS ALL AGAIN TO THE FUCKING HARLEYBERTS.  
CG: IT TOOK THE OTHER TWO MONTHS TO GRASP EVEN THE MOST BASIC CONCEPTS!  
GC: K4RK4T, DON’T PR3T3ND YOU 4R3N’T DROLLING OV3R L34SON PL4NS 4S W3 SP33K.  
GC: TH1S 1S 4 DR34M COM3 TRU3 FOR YOU.  
GC: 4 C4PT1V3 4UD13NC3 W1TH 4 V3ST3D 1NT3R3ST 1N L1ST3N1NG TO YOU.  
TT: He’s probably making a syllabus based on our time on the meteor.  
CG: FUCK ALL OF YOU THIS IS SERIOUS.  
CG: LIFE OR DEATH SERIOUS.  
AG: L8londe, it’s good to see you’re no longer 8um8ing off Eridan’s 8ccount.  
TT: Yes, I commandeered one of his PDAs. I believe he is currently doing a groveling grand tour.  
AG: Oh jegus, you’re not still 8t his hive 8re you?  
TT: Well, Kanaya is in the middle of a desert, and I don’t know where anyone else is.  
TT: I’m also not entirely sure how to maintain a seadweller body compared to other trolls.  
CG: JUST ASK FEFERI. IT WILL PROBABLY BE A WELCOME DISTRACTION FROM ERIDAN’S UNDOUBTEDLY AWKWARD AND FLIRTY APOLOGY.  
GA: He Can See This Chat.  
CG: GOOD. I WANT HIM TO KNOW HOW PISSED AND DISGUSTED WE ALL ARE WITH HIM.  
CG: HE AND SEVERAL OTHERS ARE ON CHANCE NUMBER TWO, AND BY GOG ONE TOE OUT OF LINE AND I WON’T CARE ANYMORE WHO LOSES A QUADRANT.  
AG: H8rsh.  
CG: YOU’RE ON THAT LIST SERKET.  
AG: I’m fl8ttered.  
AG: 8 f8r more import8nt m8tter.  
AG: I 8m a8out to h8ve three extr8 trolls in my hive with me, with nowhere else to go.  
AG: Do I h8ve to spell out for 8nyone why this m8y be 8 b8d ide8?  
GG: yes  
TT: I’m afraid I never paid much attention to troll hospitality customs.  
AG: Fine!  
AG: It’s not done.  
AG: Trolls 8re suppose to 8e a8le to t8ke c8re of themselves.  
AG: So, 8 troll h8ving nowhere to go is grounds for culling.  
AG: 8lso, h8ving four quite powerful, if I don’t s8y so myself, psychics who 8ll h8ve grounds for some n8sty grudges 8ll in one pl8ce might end b8dly.  
AG: Especially when two of them h8ve no ide8 wh8t they’re doing.  
AG: 8nd 8lso……..  
AG: This hive w8s built for one person.  
CG: SERKET, YOU LIVE IN A CASTLE.  
AG: 8 c8stle with only one respiteblock.  
TT: If I’m not being forward, what are the protocols for moirails or matesprites living together?  
CG: IT’S NOT COMMON BUT IT’S FINE, ESPECIALLY AMOUNG MOIRAILS.  
TT: Then have we not solved two out of three problems?  
CG: ARADIA COULD LIVE WITH SOLLUX IF THEY AGREED. BUT I CAN’T TAKE DAVE.  
TT: Why not?  
CG: IT WOULD BRING TOO MUCH ATTENTION.  
TT: I see. Forgive me, I forgot that was something we’d have to worry about.  
CG: YEAH, IT WAS REALLY NICE NOT WORRYING ABOUT IT FOR ALMOST TWO SWEEPS.  
CG: BUT NOW WE’RE ALL BACK ON LITTERALLY OUR WORST OPTION FOR PLANETS.  
GC: 1M GO1NG TO CUT H1M OFF B3FOR3 TH3 R4NT1NG ST4RTS.  
GC: B3C4US3 ONC3 TH4T H4PP3NS 4NY PROGR3SS W3R3 M4K1NG STOPS.  
CG: FUCK YOU!  
TT: She’s right.  
GC: TH4NK YOU.  
GC: TH3 4NSW3R 1S S1MPL3.  
GC: 1 DONT C4R3 4BOUT '4CC3PT4B1L1TY' SO D4V3 C4N ST4Y W1TH M3. 1 L1V3 1N TH3 M1DDL3 OF NOWH3R3. JOHN C4N ST4Y W1TH VR1SK4 4ND SH3 C4N L1V3 W1TH 1T. ROS3, YOU’R3 4 H1GHBLOOD, YOU C4N DO WH4T3V3R YOU W4NT 4ND NO TROLL WHO V4LU3S TH31R UNCUT THRO4T W1LL S4Y 4NYTH1NG.  
GC: N3P3T4, HOW 4R3 YOU 4ND H4RL3Y?  
AC: :33< We’re going hunting.  
CG: HARLEY’S IN HER FUCKING ELEMENT.  
GG: shut up karkat.  
AC: :33< Jade can stay here. The drones don’t know purre i am.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] is offline –

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] is offline –

GA: They'll Get Along Like Purrbeasts In A Basket.


	2. Act 1 Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the first time SBURB has messed with her body, but at least this time Jade is a single species and gender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jade is the only person handling this well.

Your name is JADE HARLEY and your day could be going far worse.

Most of the shocks had happened at the same time. The Green Sun vanished from your mind, then you woke up in a cave with a troll you remembered, then you realized you were a troll. The two of you had crowded around a laptop, oops, husktop to make sure everyone else was okay. At one point, Nepeta had used her claws to prick your finger and olive blood had welled up.

Everyone else seemed to be having a hard time with it, even Rose sounded more stressed than you’d ever heard her sound. But this wasn’t the first time The Game had taken upon itself to mess with your body. At least this time you were a single species instead of two.

You had also really hated the tail.

Nepeta’s hive was, as far as she could tell, untouched since she left it. A thick layer of dust had settled over everything, and when Nepeta threw open a cabinet to dig out a second computer both of you couldn’t help but cough.

You wouldn’t say you were bored with the discussion, but after it became clear that everyone was okay and it was being taken care of, more interesting things started grabbing your attention.

“Where’d you get all these pelts?” You gestured at the white fur covering almost every inch of the cave.

“I hunted them. The forest is full of wild lusii. Equius always says I should stuff and mount them, but pelts are more useful.” She has the face of a proud cat. Seriously, how does she do that?

Nepeta doesn’t have a mirror in her hive, at least not anymore. Over the past few years a few places had caved in. You and her had only needed to glance at the rocks separating you from a deeper cavern that she said was storage for both of you to know that you couldn’t clear it by yourselves.

“I’ll ask Equius fur help. It may take a lot of time fur him to get here though.”

“Do we need anything on the other side now?”

“No… I have a chest meowround here somewhere.”

It took a moment of searching before you pulled at the corner of a pelt to reveal a battered chest. Nepeta pounced on it, unlocking it with one of her claws to reveal its contents. Several pairs of clawed gloves, odd bits and pieces you didn’t recognize, and what looked like two spare husktops. Nepeta handed you one of the husktops so you could stop using her old PDA. She tried to slip one of the more worn pairs of gloves on, but they were too small. She made a face while readjusting them. They seemed to fit perfectly. A light purring sound is emanating from the girl. Is that a troll thing or part of the cat thing?

You open up the husktop and are surprised when it powers right up. Alternian technology is so much better than what you had. You _need_ to take some of it apart and study it as soon as possible. But not right now, right now you need to get a look at yourself. The keyboard is in Alternian. You stare at it for a moment before connections start happening in some part of your cortex. At least the Game had the decency to install some literacy into your brain when it body swapped you. You activate the webcam in no time at all and look at the screen.

Your eyes have gone from green and white to black and yellow. Oh well, you knew that much. Your skin was the same grey as every other troll you’d met. Your hair honestly looked the same. It felt a bit more wire like now, but you didn’t mind that. Your horns were a whole other matter. They looked like Elk antlers. You had never seen an Elk in person, but you knew what they looked like, and these looked pretty close. They were smaller thankfully, about eight inches from base to tip, with a pretty curve and four points on each. Good thing they weren’t full sized, you wouldn’t be able to get though doorways. As it is you feel like it’s a matter of time before you get yourself stuck in a tree. Your teeth aren’t much of a change after the dog canines. In fact, you like them a lot better than the dog teeth, at least these are clearly meant to be in your mouth and you don’t feel like you’ll give yourself snake bites by accident.

You open up trollian, typing in your username and password which you’re still surprised work. Jake’s handle is on the side, greyed out. You open it.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] started pestering golgothasTerror [GT] --

GG: i dont know if any of this is getting through  
GG: please message me back as soon as you get this!  
GG: every else is okay for now, but no one knows where you are!  
GG: i hope youre all together  
GG: That would really suck if the stupid Game separated you  
GG: do you have calliope?  
GG: she was really nice and id feel terrible if something happened to her!  
GG: i dont know what else to do without you responding  
GG: oh wait i have something

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] sent golgothasTerror [GT] their contact list --

GG: thats the rest of us plus all the trolls!  
GG: theyre all alive again too! All twelve of them!  
GG: that’s all i guess ):  
GG: please tell us youre all okay

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] –

You minimize trollian, otherwise you’d sit there all day staring at it.

You can see the other changes without the aid of a webcam, so you turn it off too. You’re wearing what you used to wear before the game, a long sleeve science t-shirt and a long shirt. They had been adjusted to fit you, seeing as you’re at least a foot taller than you were at thirteen. The claws are interesting, like dogs, but with no apparent quick inside. Were they made of carotene? Were your horns? You’re really going to have to find some lab equipment soon or you’re going to burst with questions. You know there are other changes under your clothes, but if you’re being honest you don’t care. Being part dog had been really cool and interesting, but it had done some things to your body that you did _not_ appreciate. Whatever these new changes were, you were one single species with average traits again.

Also, at some point before the game, Dave had recommended Fullmetal Alchemist to you. You hadn’t had a chance to watch it before the game, but during the trip across the yellow yard you had needed something to feel connected to anyone else about after John and Davesprite died.

Oh boy had that been a bad decision!

“So, what should we do now?” You look over to Nepeta who’s typing away furiously. She looks up and seems to think for a moment, scanning her old hive/cave.

“I don’t know. Equius said he can be here tomeowrow to help us. But he has some of his own things to take care of purrrst. We haven’t seen each other in so long though.” She seemed more than a little distraught by that.

“Weren’t you two in the dreambubbles together?”

“We purr fur a while. But we kept getting pulled out. The meowmories are a little foggy. We both became sprites but then everything got mixed up.”

You’d been asleep for most of the time in the final session, but you remembered at least one sprite on the end platform had been a troll. You think it had been Dirk’s sprite. But you hadn’t seen anyone who looked like Nepeta. “I didn’t know you became a sprite.”

“I don’t think we ever met. I was only myself fur a few minutes and then.” She paused, “It was really odd. I still have some of his meowmories, and all of ours, but it’s… odd.”

“Whose memories?”

“A different version of Dave and I prototyped ourselves by accident.”

Is that where Davesprite went?! “Is that where Davesprite went?!”

“Yep.” She doesn’t seem upset, just contemplative.

“Are you okay?”

At that she perked up. “I’m alright. I’ll talk to Equius about it tomeowrow.”

Your social skills are a bit rusty, having spent the better part of the last three years with no one but consorts and carapaciens for company, but you think you may have just stuck your foot in something. You drop the line of conversation. Nepeta seems to have though of something else to do anyway.

“Do you like hunting?”

“I love hunting, but I don’t have my specibis with me anymore.”

“You could borrow a set of claws. They’re really fun to use.”

You’re used to ranged weapons, but the claws look interesting enough. You probably couldn’t catch anything with them in your first hunt but diversifying your strife options was never a bad idea.

“Alright! You may have to show me how to use them though.”

“Yay! Here, you can use these ones.” She helps you put on a pair, and you’re surprised by how well they fit. After Nepeta shows you a few ways to use them, which you stumble through copying, the two of you stalk out into the forest. Maybe today would be fun after all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sorry for the Nina Tucker reference, it was too good to pass up.  
> This chapter is kinda short, but I feel like it's as long as it needs to be. I should probably write these in order, but that's not going to happen. I've already finished chapter 4 and just need to finish up chapter 3.


	3. Act 1 Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stop fiddling with this chapter so I'm just posting it before I go insane.

Your name is ROSE LALONDE and you generally pride yourself on being calm and calculating.

You should have known better. Known it was all too good to be true. Now your girlfriend (should you call her your matesprite now?) is off in some desert hours away, and you are stuck in a house with the second to worst troll. You’re also under enough water to kill a free diver, and you’re breathing normally.

You pull up your contact list on your ‘borrowed’ PDA. All but a few were lit up. Jade had just logged off, and neither of the boys would be in a state to talk for hours.

You pulled up a chat window with one of them anyway.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TT: I thought you might appreciate a message whenever you feel up to checking.  
TT: Everyone’s okay, and we’re working out a plan.  
TT: Reach out if you need anything.  
TT: Also message me back so I know you’re okay.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

Well, it wasn’t like he was going to answer anytime soon. You’d ask if he had his Bro’s handle later.

You scan your list of contacts again. You need to make progress, toward what you’re unsure of, but something.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering cuttlefishCuller [CC] --

TT: Hello  
CC: Why )(ello t)(ere! 38D  
CC: To w)(at do I owe t)(e pleasure?  
TT: I have a few… questions. If that isn’t too presumptuous.  
CC: Not at all!  
TT: Do I have to stay in the water?  
CC: NOP---E! 38)  
CC: You can live on land just as w)(ale as in sea.  
TT: That’s a relief.  
TT: No offence, but the idea of living underwater makes me a little…  
TT: Claustrophobic.  
CC: )(e)(e! T)(at’s ok! But, a lot of land dwellers don’t like sea dwellers too muc)(.  
CC: So be krillfull.  
TT: I thought Alternian royalty had a reasonable level of impunity?  
CC: We do, but if some trolls t)(ink t)(ey can get away wit)( it, t)(ey will try to krill you.  
TT: I sea. So a despised, but feared royalty.  
CC: Yes.  
TT: Is this a new development under the current Empress?  
CC: Partially. S)(e )(as made relations worse.  
TT: How so?  
CC: W)(ale, I’m reelly not sure of the details.  
CC: S)(e came to power so long ago t)(at all the records I )(ave access to are from under )(er reign. 38(  
TT: Hmm… Would you happen to know how long that has been?  
CC: A few t)(ousand sweeps.  
TT: It’s still odd even after all this time that you have a ruler who has lived longer than recorded human history.  
CC: )(ow long is t)(at?  
TT: Converting from years to sweeps, around 2500.  
CC: T)(at’s very s)(ort.  
TT: Whale, we had short lifespans.  
CC: )(e)(e! 38D  
TT: I thought you’d appreciate the fish pun.  
CC: Very muc)(!  
TT: I believe I should start making headway toward my next objective now. Thank you for the information.  
CC: One last t)(ing. Make sure you )(ave a weapon on you at all times. 38)  
TT: Of course. Thank you Feferi.  
CC: You s)(oul be able to raid Eridan’s treasure trove for appropriate equipment. 38P

\-- cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

Progress. You have your next objective, now all you need to do is move toward it.

You find Eridan two rooms over. He’s sitting at a table, tapping away at a computer, clearly chatting with someone.

“Where do you keep all of your looted weapons?”

“Wwhy wwould I tell you?”

“Because, I need a weapon.”

“Doesn’t mean you can havve any of mine.”

“Fine, I’ll be more direct.”

You smack him so hard on the back of the head that he faceplants into the keyboard. You didn’t think you had hit him that hard, but the crunch is quite satisfying. You see him reach for something, you don’t know what, under the table, so you hook your ankle around the leg of his chair and dump him out of it. It would have been far more effective if you weren’t underwater, but even so it gave you all you needed. You hauled him up by his stupid cape (seriously, why would you ever wear a cape and sweater underwater?) and chucked him into the far wall. You’d been strifing every day with the other girls on the meteor for the past three years and you’d be damned to the horrorterrors if you were going to waste it. Also, he killed your matesprite and you’ve been itching to do this for the past three years.

“Now, I could toss you around like a ragdoll for the next few hours, or you could just tell me where your treasure room is.”

He muttered something.

“I’m sorry, you’ll have to speak up.”

“Other side of the ship.”

“Thank you.”

With that, you duck out the open porthole and swim to the other end of the ship.

\-- caligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

CA: Does Rose by chance havve a kismesis?  
CG: I GUARANTEE SHE WASN’T FLIRTING YOU MONUMENTAL DOUCHE.  
CG: I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE DID, BUT NOT IN A MILLION SWEEPS WOULD LALONDE SETTLE FOR A LOUSY BOTTOM FEEDER LIKE YOU AS A KISMESIS.  
CG: AND BEFORE YOU ASK, NO, NEITHER WOULD I!

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] blocked caligulasAquarium [CA] --

Eridan has too much junk. You spend the next hour searching for a decent weapon that you know how to wield. Needles won’t actually work to well as weapons outside of the Game, physics being a terribly not fickle mistress to your eternal annoyance. You finally settle on a set of long and narrow daggers, five of them laying side by side in an ornate box along with a strap clearly designed to holster them. They seem sharp enough. You hope they aren’t the Alternian equivalent to jousts or some other such useless weapon. Checking your PDA, you notice it has a camera, it’s a shitty camera, but a camera none the less.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] --

TT sent file needleswords.png  
TT: Do these seem like appropriate weapons?  
TT: I wouldn’t want to make myself seem like easy prey with foolish choices in weaponry.  
GA: Those Are Perfectly Adequate.  
GA: Generally Used By Assassins In The Condesce’s Specialty Cullers.  
TT: Who?  
GA: They Dispatch Adult Trolls Of Significant Martial Prowess.  
GA: If You Listen To Vriska, Several Were Sent After Her Ancestor Before Redglare Finally Caught Up With Her.  
TT: I see. Would they befit my station? Whatever that may be?  
GA: Very Much So.  
TT: Good. I’m quite sick of digging through Eridan’s junk. Most of these swords are so shitty they’d make my brother hesitant.  
GA: Not To Change The Subject, But Are You Doing Alright?  
TT: As well as can be expected. In fact, I feel strangely calm. Unless it’s a change brought about by my new biology, I do believe that means the second I feel safe I will do what scholars call ‘flipping my absolute shit’.  
GA: Oh, Well, I Can’t Say I’d Be Doing Better In Your Place.  
TT: I was thinking of possibly making my way to you.  
GA: While The Idea Pleases Me Greatly, You’ll Have To Wait Until The Sun Sets Again.  
TT: Ah yes. It is very annoying that your host star seemingly wants to kill you. It makes travel inconvenient.  
TT: If I remember correctly, you said it never bothered you.  
GA: Yes, My Caste Is The Only One Who Can Stand The Light. It’s Part Of The Rainbow Drinker Gene.  
TT: I suspected as much.  
GA: I Do Wish To See You Though. It’s… Odd, Being Alone Again.  
TT: I feel the same. I’ll be there as soon as I can.  
GA: In The Meantime, Is There Anything You’d Like To Talk About. Maybe If You Get Some Of It Out Now, You Will Flip Less Of Your Shit Later.

You think carefully. You’re currently in a state of shock, and you’d like to keep it that way for the time being. How you’re so lucid is unclear, but not something you feel inclined to complain about at the minute. Is there anything you could get foff your chest that won’t open the floodgates?

TT: I was looking forward to getting to know the new version of my mother.  
TT: I did get to know her a little, and she seems so… different yet the same.  
TT: At least the same in the important ways.  
TT: But she seemed so happy and driven.  
TT: Maybe that’s how my mom would have been if she had friends who loved her as much as the others clearly did.  
TT: But now we don’t know where she is.  
TT: I saw her die and then pop back into existence with John, who was also supposed to be dead.  
TT: And then we had what, an hour together?  
TT: Jade promised that the second she heard any response from Jake she’d tell me.  
TT: I can’t See anything and I can’t stand it.  
TT: If I say much more I believe my composer may break.  
GA: That’s Quite Alright.  
GA: I Too Am Worried.  
GA: They Must Be Somewhere.  
GA: With The Options Remaining, They Are Either Somewhere On Alternia And No One Has Heard From Them Which I Find Unlikely, Or They’re On Another Planet, And Seeing As Every Other Possible Planet Is Better Than Alternia I Doubt They’re In Immediate Danger.  
TT: I just wish I could say for sure.  
TT: I don’t like guesswork.  
GA: I Also Only Knew Roxy For A Few Moments, But I Got The Impression That She Wanted To Get To Know You Just As Much As You Do Her.  
GA: What I’m Saying Is That She Is Probably Looking For You.  
GA: And Once The Dust Has Settled And We Know More Here We Can Start Looking For Her Too.  
TT: Thank you, Kanaya.  
TT: It seems I’m not thinking as clearly as I’d like to believe.  
GA: Any Time My Love. <3  
TT: <3  
TT: Oh lord, I see a new memo.  
GA: Ah, It Seems He’s Gone Back To His Old Ways.  
TT: He had better not be arguing with himself.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] opened memo: EXPLAINING SHIT TO THE HUMANS --

CG: ALRIGHT, TIME FOR YOU FUCKS TO LISTEN UP.  
CG: TWO OF YOU HAVE SOME INCLING OF HOW NOT TO GET BRUTALLY MURDERED THE SECOND YOU WALK OUTSIDE BUT I KNOW HARLEY AND EGBERT DON’T.  
CG: EVEN THOUGH HARLEY HAS ALREADY RUN OFF ON A HUNTING TRIP.  
CG: BUT NONE OF YOU ARE GOING TO LAST MORE THAN ONE INTERACTION IF YOU ACT LIKE YOU NORMALLY DO.

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] joined the memo --

AG: Who s8ys you get to expl8in everything?

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned arachnidsGrip [AG] from responding to memo –

CG: BECAUSE YOU’LL FUCK WITH THEM ON PURPOSE.  
CG: FIRST, DON’T ACT FRIENDLY TO OTHER TROLLS WHEN YOU MEET THEM.  
CG: SERIOUSLY, THEY’LL THINK YOU’RE EITHER MOCKING THEM OR FLIRTING WITH THEM.  
CG: YOU WILL GET STABBED.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] joined the memo --

GG: but ive never met nepeta before and were getting along fine  
CG: THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE PROBABLY CREW.  
GG: :?  
CG: OH DEAR GOG!

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] joined the memo --

TT: Based on my viewing of Alternian cinema, it’s similar to in-laws, but with an instinctual backing as well as a social one.  
GG: okay…  
CG: THAT SOUNDS CLOSE ENOUGH. IT’S A TROLL YOU TRUST NOT TO KILL YOU.  
GG: is that rare?  
CG: YES!  
CG: I’M NOT SURE WHAT ABOUT YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH US HAS LED YOU TO BELIEVE TROLLS ARE A FRIENDLY SPECIES!  
GG: umm…  
CG: WHAT?  
GG: i mean you can be kind of angry but youre mostly nice  
GG: at least you have been since we met up again  
GG: you really weren’t when you first started trolling me  
CG: DBFIBFOWUFHLAIRFHALIRGFHBA  
CG: NEVER MIND! NEXT TOPIC!  
CG: WE’RE CHANGING THESE FREIGHTHAULER TRACKS BEFORE MY THINKPAN EXPLOADS.  
CG: YOU’RE NAMES ARE NOT GOING TO CUT IT.  
CG: NO TROLL HAS A FOUR LETTER NAME.  
GG: why would we ever need to tell anyone else our names?  
CG: OH, I DON’T KNOW. MAYBE WHEN YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH CHECK POINTS.  
CG: OR GET SUPPLIES FROM A DEPOT.  
CG: OR EVER INTERACT WITH A DRONE.  
CG: OR EVER DO ANYTHING THROUGH AN OFFICIAL CHANNEL.  
GG: okay but how often does any of that stuff happen?  
CG: ANNOYINGLY OFTEN.  
TT: I would suggest just picking a fake one, or putting some silent letters in your own.  
GG: hmm… /:  
GG: jayhde?  
GG: no that looks terrible  
GG: jayden  
GG: thats a boys name  
GG: jheyde  
CG: HARLEY DO IT IN A DOC OR SOMETHING NOT THE MEMO.  
GG: bossy boots :p  
TT: I’m unsure of how Alternian bureaucracy works. Will we need papers?  
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN PAPERS?  
TT: Documents stating that we exist.  
CG: WAIT DID YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THOSE ON EARTH?  
CG: I THOUGHT THAT WAS A SHITTY PLOT DEVICE!  
TT: It was different for each country but yes, we had papers. I had adoption papers, a social security number, medical records, and some other things.  
GG: i never had any of that  
TT: Were you actually a citizen of any nation?  
GG: umm… i dont know  
TT: If I remember correctly, your island was suspiciously absent from any official charts of the nautical persuasion.  
TT: However, I wasn’t the researcher I thought I was at 13 so I may have simply missed it.  
CG: COULD WE PLEASE PUT THIS CONVERSATION BACK ON THE FREIGHTHAULER TRACKS AND OUT OF BULDGENUMBINGLY IRELEVANT DETAILS?  
CG: JUST THIS FUCKING ONCE?  
CG: YOU DON’T NEED ANY ‘PAPERS’.  
CG: THE EMPIRE DOESN’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU UNTIL YOU’RE AN ADULT AND THEY DRAG YOU OFF AND SHOVE YOUR ASS ON A SHIP.  
CG: WHICH ISN’T FOR ANOTHER FOUR SWEEPS.  
TT: I was wondering that. Thank you for the information. That is quite a bit more time to work with then I thought we had.  
CG: HOW ARE YOU SCHEMING SOMETHING ALREADY?  
CG: IT’S ONLY BEEN ONE FUCKING HOUR!  
TT: It’s nothing yet grandiose enough to deem a ‘scheme’.  
TT: Simply information gathering to see what possible paths lie ahead of us we could potentially walk.  
CG: WAIT, DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR POWERS?  
TT: Not that I am aware. All I have on my side currently is reason, analytical and mathematical may it be.  
TT: As far as I know that is all we have to work with.  
CG: LALONDE DON’T GET YOURSELF OR ANYONE ELSE CULLED!  
TT: I’ve learned my lesson on where drastic action without consultation, or ignoring said consultation, will get me.  
TT: I have no intention of blowing up more universes.  
TT: For the time being.  
CG: LALONDE!  
TT: Only joking.  
CG: SPEAKING OF CULLED, JADE ARE YOU STILL PART BARKBEAST?  
GG: no… why? /:  
CG: GOOD. THAT WOULD COUNT AS A MUTATION AND GET YOU CULLED ON THE SPOT.  
CG: AT LEAST THAT’S ONE LESS PERSON TO WORRY ABOUT IN THE ‘MARKED FOR A GORY AND PAINFULL DEATH’ CATEGORY.  
CG: A CATEGORY THAT CONTAINS AT LEAST THREE OF OUR SORRY NUMBER.  
TT: That will be a problem.  
CG: IT’S CURRENTLY A PROBLEM, ROSE. IT HAS BEEN PROBLEM NUMBER 2 SINCE WE ALL LANDED ON THIS SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HABITABLE PLANET!  
TT: Would problem number one be getting our Time players to a more secure location?  
CG: YES.  
CG: AND NOW THAT THAT IS BEING TAKEN CARE OF, THIS IS OUR BIG FUCKING PROBLEM.  
CG: KEEPING ALL OF OUR SORRY ASSES FROM BEING MADE SNACKS FOR ANY WANDERING TROLL WITH A BONE TO PICK.  
CG: YOU TWO AREN’T EVEN THE ONES I SHOULD BE EXPLAINING TOO.  
CG: HARLEY IS IN MONSTERFUCK FOREST AND YOU’RE A FUCKING SEA DWELLER!  
CG: THE OTHER TWO ARE THE IDIOTS WITH EMPTY SPACE WHERE A THINKPAN SHOULD BE!  
CG: FUCK!  
CG: FUCK FUCK FUCK!  
GG: is this how memos normally go?  
TT: Yes.  
TT: He was getting better, but I’m afraid the reintroduction of stimuli associated with painful experiences is causing him great amounts of stress.  
CG: SAVE THE SHRINKBABBLE FOR YOUR FUCKING BROTHER, LALONDE!  
TT: He is otherwise unavailable at the moment. You wouldn’t begrudge me some innocent entertainment?  
CG: I’M NOT TAKING THE BAIT. NOT THIS TIME!

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned tentacleTherapist [TT] from responding to memo –


	4. Act 1 Part 4

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and if you’re being honest today maybe gets into your top five worst days. Maybe. By a hair.

You woke up to screaming.

A fuckton of screaming.

And whispering. Enough whispering that it was somehow louder than the screaming.

You think your voice may have joined the screaming. Everything was so loud you couldn’t think. It was like an entire city was trying to beam their voice directly into your brain. Anyone else would have lost sense of time completely, but you could still feel that ticking in the back of your brain. Something solid, steady, permanent. You cling to it. 38 seconds pass and the part of your brain that runs on nerve input tells you someone is grabbing you. The part of your brain that runs on conditioning says lash out, get them away. A part of your brain you’ve never heard before but is very loud tells the other part to shut up, and that it’s a friend.

At 2 minutes and 45 seconds, the screaming gets more distant and the voices diminish in number. Okay, you can work with this. You grew up with a splinter of Lord Fucking English, you can deal with some mindfuckery.

15 more seconds, and the voices are now quite enough that you can move.

Why the fuck do you feel so shitty? Did you get into Rose’s stash? Why the fuck would you get into Rose’s stash? Does she still have a stash? Didn’t you help Kanaya and Vriska get rid of that shit?

“Dave?”

Whose voice is that?

You open your eyes and try to focus. Black hair. A lot of black hair. Jade? No. Red. Ram horns.

“Aradia?” Your voice sounds like even worse shit. Yeah, you must have been screaming. There goes all your coolkid cred right out the fucking window. Why was she glowing?

“I’m keeping the ghosts away.” Shit, you said that out loud. Wait, ghosts?

“Do you know what happened?”

“John opened the door. Where the fuck are we?”

“Oh. Dave, we’re on Alternia.”

“Didn’t Jade have earth? Yeah, she did. I helped unflood it.”

“We’re not in the new universe, we’re back on _our_ Alternia.”

Oh. _OH SHIT_.

You sit up, or more accurately prop yourself up on an elbow and get a look around.

What. The. Fuck.

Aradia is glowing a deep red, kneeling next to you but slightly levitating from the ground. A red symbol like an old wax stamp is glowing on her brow, her sign blazing in the middle. There’s a red forcefield surrounding the two of you, clearly emanating from her. On the other side of the forcefield is like a scene from a less corporeal Walking Dead. Wisps and phantoms, all clearly troll, circle you, staring.

Aradia shows no sign of fear, which honestly doesn’t surprise you after the death fangirl stunt she pulled on the meteor three years ago. Strain is showing at the corners of her mouth though. A phone is levitating next to her, and she keeps glancing from it to you to the ghosts.

“Dave, do you happen to know how to stop shouting.”

“I’m almost positive I wasn’t saying anything. Like 99% sure.”

“No not that. I mean with your head.”

“My head?”

“You are shouting every thought and it’s attracting them.”

“I’m doing what now?”

“Are humans never taught shielding?”

“What’s that.”

“Jegus!”

“What’s going on?”

“That’s a very good question. One that several of our party are trying to figure out.”

“Look, I know I’m one to talk but could you please give me a straight answer?”

Aradia flinched, not because of you but something else. The barrier spluttered for a second before returning. Tick. Your vision blacks out again as the voices come back in a wave. Tock. The part of your brain that runs on nervous input just informed you that you’d slumped back down on the ground. Tick. You feel a sudden wall slam back down around you. You return to coherent consciousness and look back up. A bead of rust blood trances from Aradia’s nostril. She flicks it away without a thought.

“Dave, just, look at your hands.”

What? You look at your hands. The dim light made colors weird. The red from Aradia reminded you of a darkroom. You’d spent enough time in a darkroom that you knew what color your skin looked like under red light.

This was not the right color.

Why, in the farthest reaches of hell also known as Rose’s thing for horrorterrors is your motherfucking skin grey? What the fuck? You run a hand through your hair. It felt way more course, where have you felt that before? Karkat! It felt like his hair and… Oh shit.

No. You aren’t going to think about it right now. If you think about it you’re going to crack, and you don’t have the luxury of cracking right now. Not when your surrounded by ghosts and only capable of coherent thought because crazy death fangirl is holding them off. You can crack later. It’s you job to crack later, you’re a fucking Knight. You need information, and Rose doesn’t seem to be around to give it.

“Where are we and where is everyone else?”

You could see Aradia reading something on her phone before answering. “We’re at my old hive. As for everyone else I think they’re all back at their hives too.”

“If we’re at your hive why can I see sky?”

“It was blown up. That’s how I died the first time.”

“Wha-No not now. Isn’t it like, a super bad idea to be outside?”

“In general, yes, but not as bad as it will be once the sun rises.”

“Oh shit, Kanaya said something about zombies.”

“Undead? Yes, but those are easy enough. The sun is a bigger problem. That’s how Terezi lost her vision.”

“What sort of hell planet do you live on?”

“It’s not that bad once you get used to it.”

You can see the strain showing plainly on her face, and the whispers are inching louder. Tick. Tock.

“Alright, what do we do?”

“Wait.”

“Didn’t we just clarify that that’s the opposite of what we should be doing?”

“In a sense. We have 3 hours until sunrise. Vriska is closest, 2 hours if I fly by myself, but I can’t get both of us there in time.”

“Then go. I’ll figure something out.”

“Dave, please shut up. I may have not spent much time with this version of you, but I knew nearly infinite versions of everyone in the dreambubbles. Do you know how almost every single godtier version of you died? Doing something Heroic and self-sacrificy in a situation where there were other options. The rest died the same way but with no other options. We have options now. We’re no longer working with no teammates left. Now get over that hero complex or it _will_ get you killed.”

Why did everyone say Vriska was the scariest troll? Because Aradia was currently floating in front of you, glowing blood red, and ripping apart every facet of your character to throw back into your face while holding off a hoard of ghosts.

“Okay, so, uhh… What’s the plan, Chief?”

You could have sworn relief etched her face, probably because she half expected you to argue.

“Sollux is on his way. He can get us to Vriska’s with plenty of time to spare.”

“Okay, so when you said options you meant option in the singular.”

“No, there’s a backup plan.”

You waited; she wasn’t elaborating. “Which is?”

“Vriska steps in.”

Well that sounded ominous as fuck.

“So, what do we do in the meantime?”

Aradia giggled; definitely the scariest troll, “I teach you how to stop being so loud.”

“Many have tried, all have failed.”

Aradia must have been putting a lot of effort into keeping the ghosts out, because your mind was beginning to be able to focus on more than just the current conversation. You were on Alternia. Was everyone here? Aradia wasn’t on the victory platform, neither was Sollux or Vriska, but she’d mentioned them. Was everyone else here?

“If I answer your questions could you concentrate?”

“Okay, I am positive I wasn’t saying any of that out loud.”

It turns out the expression of explaining something painfully simple to someone who just was not getting it spans across species, because the look she gave you was the same one half a dozen teachers had over your short schooling career.

“Dave, we’re both psychics, and you have no idea how to shield.”

“Ohhh… I am so sorry about everything you’ve heard.”

“It’s fine, it’s been mostly terror and confusion.”

Ouch.

It takes 52 minutes and 23 seconds for Sollux to touch down right next to you. You’ve made a sliver of progress, enough that the blood dripping from Aradia’s nose has stopped, so you suppose that’s good.

“Jeguth! You both look like thuch thit.”

“Nice too see you too.” Dave was utterly exhausted. How did anyone manage this?

“We need to go.”

“Doeth Vrithka know what we’re bringing over?”

“I thought it would worry everyone if they knew how bad it was, so I’ve omitted details.” Oh well that sounds reassuring as fuck.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to talk about the terminal diagnosis in front of the patient.”

“You are such a drama queen, Dave.”

“I’m here all week.”

“Oh, The’th going to love thith!”

The flight was a blur. Aradia couldn’t focus on keeping ghosts away while you were all flying at a breakneck pace just over the treetops, so your lucidity was debatable. You were also as tired as you’d ever been and may or may not have lost consciousness a few times. No one will ever know.

The next thing you remember beyond basic impressions is one image. The house you land in front of looks like Dracula’s Castle Jr. You’d seen Vriska’s hive in dream bubbles, but it had already been mangled by the game and whoever her server player was. It was also in a bright and colorful land, not the dark, oppressive atmosphere of a blue blood neighborhood.

Someone was holding you upright, but you weren’t really sure as to who. There seemed to be less ghosts around here. There was probably a reason for this, but you didn’t know it and couldn’t figure it out right now. That wall you felt early slams back down into place, for some reason it seems bigger this time.

You were inside now. A massive vaulted ceiling over your head, weapons of foreign make decorated the walls, and everything was blue. You were sitting in a chair, which was much better than the ground.

“Megido, why do I see ghosts flickering in and out in my house, again?”

“That’s not me this time.”

“There is no way Strider is doing that while half dead.”

“That would be why he looks half dead.”

“Well they’re loud as shit. It’s a good thing John’s out cold.”

“You have high quality pansoothers, right?”

“Not that I’d use! All the shit I have is two sweeps old.”

“Fuck. Have you been to a supply depot?”

“I’ve been grubsitting the other idiot.”

“Do you think Equius would go? We need supplies.”

“Megido, Zahhak would give up towels for you.”

“I know, but it’s weird.”

“Just bite the bullet and do it already. Better to have one of the highbloods show their face first anyway.”

“Aww, I didn’t know you cared.”

“I don’t know what’s going on and I’d rather not loose assets. We all vanished from records two sweeps ago. The higher the blood, the less likely they’ll run into trouble.”

“The Empire’th recordth are hoofbeathtthit. I’ve theen their databatheth.”

“Huh, that’s a pretty big oversight.”

“I believe you could clathify uth ath an outlier. They don’t care if thome thmuck troll thtopth getting their thupplieth.”

“Captor’s probably right. What time is it? Alright, I’ll go. What do you need?”

You tune back out at the list of item names that make minimal sense. You’re just so fucking tired, and sleep sounds so good. You have no idea what kind of chair you were set unto, but it feels like the cushiest piece of furniture in the world right now.

Something is throwing a fit in the back of your brain, and to your relief it isn’t ghosts or the fucking timeline for once. What is that? Fear, no, dread, no, jegus what the fuck is it. Oh shit, right, that.

You mutter something that was meant to be intelligible, but it comes out more garbled than Rose after she drank a gallon of vodka that one time.

“You’re going to have to thpeak up.”

“Phone… Please…”

“thweet, you can handle KK, he’th been flooding my dmth with grey text for the latht two hourth.”

Sollux, as apparent by the lisp because you ain’t looking up right now, places something that hopefully has messaging capabilities into you hand. Trollian is all that’s on there, but you try anyway. It takes you five attempts to type in your password correctly, and finally your dashboard pops up and holy shit that’s a little excessive!

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT]: 5 messages --

\-- gardenGnostic [GG]: 7 messages --

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG]: 182 messages --

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA]: 3 messages --

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC]: 14 messages --

Do none of these people know double texting is bad form? Of course they don’t and if you’re being honest you don’t either. You’ll get to the other messages later.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TG: hey  
TG: im not reding any of what you sen  
TG: i am too fuking tired for that shit man  
TG: im aliv  
CG: I KNEW THAT MUCH DOUCHEBAG ARE YOU OKAY?  
TG: lv you to  
TG: honesly no ide  
CG: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TYPING LIKE THAT?  
TG: tire  
TG: d  
CG: I AM WELL AWARE OF HOW YOU TALK WHEN YOU’RE TIRED AND IT IS NOT LIKE THAT.  
TG: i hat ghosts  
TG: they relly suck  
CG: ARADIA AND SOLLUX HAVE BEEN IGNOING ME. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?  
TG: idk  
TG: guess im a ghost whipserin now or som shit  
TG: i cant really kep anythin straight  
CG: SO WHEN ARADIA SAID GHOSTS WERE BOTHERING YOU SHE WAS BEING LITTERAL?  
CG: GREAT! FUCKING PERFECT!  
CG: I HAVE EXACTLY ZERO EXPERIENCE IN THE PSYCHIC BULLSHIT DEPARTMENT.   
TG: its k  
CG: NO IT’S NOT BECAUSE YOU ALSO HAVE NO EXPERIENCE IN THE PSYCHIC BULLSHIT DEPARTMENT EITHER.  
CG: THAT SHITS SUPPOSED TO COME IN SLOWLY, NOT ALL AT ONCE!  
TG: thats what she said  
CG: OH SO YOU CAN SPELL ALL THAT BUT NOT ANYTHING ELSE?  
TG: practice  
CG: FUCK YOU  
TG: not rite now  
CG: WHY DO I LIKE YOU AGAIN?  
TG: hehe  
CG: CUTE. I'M NOT GOING TO GET ANY REAL ANSWERS FROM YOU WHEN YOU'RE PUNCHY. GET SOME SLEEP.  
CG: I LOVE YOU.  


\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter may take a bit because I only have a few drabbles of conversation pre-written.  
> Also finals.  
> Edit: I didn't spell any character's name wrong, what hahah!


	5. Act 2 Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything goes even more to shit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've given up on one perspective per chapter. It's too limiting.  
> Longest chapter by a lot, about 5k words.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] joined memo --

EB: hey  
EB: this chat is so long how long have i been out?  
GC: W3LL 1TS NOW TH3 D4Y 4FT3R W3 GOT H3R3… SO 4 WH1L3.  
EB: errrr….  
EB: sorry….  
GC: NO H4RD F33L1NGS. 1TS NOT L1K3 W3 3V3N H4V3 4 PL4N Y3T S331NG 4S ON3 OF OUR M41N PL4NN1NG PO3PL3 1S CURR3NTLY W4ND3R1NG THROUGH TH3 D3S3RT.  
EB: what?  
TT: You aren’t normally one to be impatient.  
GC: TH4TS B3C4US3 1 NORM4LLY WOULD 4LR34DY H4V3 SOM3 1D43 OF WH4TS COM1NG N3XT, BUT TH3 STUP1D FUCK1NG G4M3 D3C1D3D TO STR4ND US W1TH NO POW3RS.  
TT: I’m not sure why you think I would be any less stranded than you in this situation.  
GC: B3C4US3 WH1L3 1 OP3RAT3 UND3R TH3 1NSTRUCT1ONS OF LOG1C, F4CTS, 4ND PR3S1DENT, YOU M1SS OR4NG3 CR34MCYCL3 4R3 F4R MOR3 PR4CT1C3D 1N 1NTU1T1ON.  
GC: LOG1C 1S T3LL1NG M3 TH4T MOST OF US 4R3 ROY4LLY FUCK3D.  
GC: 1D L1K3 TO H34R 4 S3COND OP1N1ON.  
TT: I’m sorry to disappoint, but if I could turn a phrase, I’m a fish out of water.  
TT: Intuition relies on the complete understanding of your surroundings.  
TT: I currently have gills and horns, and am walking through a desert toward coordinates so that I can see my matesprite on an alien world which I didn’t think I’d ever see outside of dream bubbles.  
TT: For the time being, the four of us ex-humans will have to play second fiddle to the twelve of you.  
GC: 4RG!  
GC: W3 4R3 4LL SO SCR3W3D!  
TT: You managed to all get through The Game.  
GC: TH3 G4M3 W4S NOTH1NG COMP41R3D TO 4LT3RN14.  
GC: J3GUS 1 H4T3 TH1S FUCK1NG PL4N3T!  
EB: errrr….  
EB: what have i missed?  
GC: H4S NO ON3 TOLD YOU 4NYTH1NG Y3T?  
EB: i only just woke up  
EB: vriska left me a computer with the password on a sticky note.  
GC: LOL! 3GB3RT GO 1NTO TH3 N3XT ROOM.  
EB: ????

Your name is JOHN EGBERT again, and you’re in a lot less pain then last time you were conscious. Enough so that you can tell some things are different, well, more than the very visible obvious things.

Your internal monologue is different. You would never have noticed it without something to compare to. It used to be contained, that little voice that said all your thoughts securely inside you, with hard lines stopping it from going anywhere outside your head… well… it didn’t feel like those walls were there anymore. Instead, it felt like you could go a few inches before running into… something? It’s so strange you have trouble putting words to it. A wall of cotton balls? A rubber room minus the straight jacket and physical factors? It doesn’t feel malicious though. You can feel flickers from whatever it is, blue sparks of… you’re not sure?

You shake your head, but the feeling doesn’t go away. Well, you guess that means it’s real and not your inner ear being an ass.

To be honest, why are you in the least bit surprised it’s real? You’ll admit to being naive, but not much can hold up against the very clear evidence your eyes pick up. Namely that your skin looks very grey, your nails look much more yellow and pointed, and just… the rest of it.

You follow Terezi’s advise because you really don’t know what else to do. You’re still in Vriska’s bedroom, or at least you think that’s what this is. You’re curled up on some blankets that you don’t really remember being there before, but you also don’t really remember anything about before. You have an impression that Vriska was the one who put you to sleep, and that she had asked first. Well, that was more polite than she had been three years ago at least.

You’re about to get up when the door swings open, you look up to see Vriska standing in the doorway. Or more accurately leaning against the door frame.

“Well hello there, sleepyhead. Nice of you to finally wake up.” She drawls.

“Well, you were the one who put me to sleep in the first place.”

“True, but I didn’t keep you asleep. You have no idea what you could have missed, snoozing away up here.”

“If anything important happened you could have woken me up.”

“You’re right, I could have, but where would be the fun in that? Plus, then I wouldn’t be able to tease you for it later.”

“You are exactly like I remember you.”

“Wouldn’t want to disappoint. Now do you want to get up and join the party downstairs or not? I thought you’d be more enthusiastic than this to see some old friends.”

“Party? Wait, which friends?”

“Wow, I knew you were out of it yesterday but not that out of it.”

“Vriska.”

“Well I’m not spoiling anything. Follow me if you want to find out.” And with that she turned tail out of the room.

You scramble up to follow her, acutely aware that while you can walk, all your joints feel wrong. You stumble out onto a landing, gulping as you watch her walk down stairs. Wait, what are you doing? You can fly! You try to fly. Nothing happens. Okay, maybe you can’t fly. At least there’s a railing you can cling onto so you don’t tumble head over heels down after her.

Alright, who builds a house with this many steps! Seriously, this is too many!

You finally reach the bottom, where Vriska has been polite enough to wait for you.

“You look like an idiot.”

“Your face looks like an idiot.”

“Stairs are not that hard, stop clinging to the railing like that.”

“My knees aren’t exactly working like they’re supposed to right now.”

“That’s because you’re acting like you still have your weak human knees. Stop whining and figure it out.”

“That’s easier said then done.”

“Literal wigglers come out of their cocoons knowing how to do this.”

“Well I was never a wiggler.”

“That’s pretty obvious.”

“Just like your insults.”

“I’m being nice and keeping it simple for you.”

“Suuure you are.” You’re being more antagonistic than usual, but you’re not really in the mood for banter at this particular moment.

Vriska leads you past several doors. In the distance you can hear talking, but you’re not sure who the speaker is. Finally, the hallway ends and you two come out into what is clearly a living room. Or at least what would be a living room in a human house. Instead of matching furniture meant for relaxing with guests and friends, nothing matches and was seemingly dragged into the room so everyone would have a place to sit. Three trolls were sitting around, talking and… You really wish the stupid damn Game had let you into the dream bubbles more because fuck you are scrambling for names oh god this is awkward. Two of the trolls never made it to the final session but you don’t think they died? The third troll leaning back in a beanbag… what the fuck?

“Dave?”

“Sup bro.”

He looked like the same guy you’d been best friends with for years now, just the troll version. Horns that curved forward and up, the exact same hair but black instead of almost white, he was still wearing the Ben Stiller shades you had gotten him so long ago and honestly didn’t know how they had survived the Game when you had had to fix yours a dozen different times. Instead of the godhood he had been proud to tell you he hadn’t taken off since blowing up the Green Sun, he wore the jeans and t-shirt you had always seen him in over webcam pre-Game.

“How you liking the new ride? Personally, I’ve got some complaints to lodge with the dealership.”

Next thing you know you’re right next to him slash half on top of him on the beanbag, arms thrown around him and your face buried in his shoulder. Finally, someone friendly, someone safe. Vriska was friendly too but she was friendly in the same way a porcupine was. Dave is your best bro and you aren’t going crazy and maybe he knows what’s going on. He’s here and Rose is here and Terezi is here and they FIX things. They handle things.

“Bro, I’m really happy to see you too but no offense you’re heavy as shit and I can’t breathe.”

“Oh, sorry.” You laugh sheepishly, letting him go and sliding down to the floor next to him.

“You look different. Did you get a new haircut?”

“Dave.”

“Couldn’t help it.” He had that shit eating Strider smirk on his face, which was less of an actual smirk and more of the tiniest upturn of his mouth. You’re relieved you can still recognize it. If it wasn’t for living with Davesprite you probably wouldn’t be able too.

It's been a long three years.

“Do you know if everyone’s okay?”

Dave shrugs, but you can see something in it, tension, fear maybe? “Everyone’s chilling for now. Even the trolls who died are kickin’ again.”

You don’t know much about the Troll’s home planet, but there’s a stiffness to Dave that betrays his emotions. You knew it was bad if only from what Vriska said and maybe a little from Karkat, but he was mostly just yelling at you. Also that was three years ago and you’re memory wasn’t _that_ good, that had been one long day.

“What’s wrong?” That got him, he started fidgeting.

“Nothing, well… Some things.”

You sit patiently, he’d burst out with it soon enough.

“I didn’t think we’d end up here. I thought we got a new universe to ourselves.”

“That’s what we all thought.”

“Then why are we _here_? We’re all separated _again_. Except this time no bucket has shown up like a shitty jump scare telling us the others made it. We’re even more split up on this side. This is like a shitty horror movie were everyone splits up and gets picked off one by one. Wonder who’s going to be the dumb blonde seeing as Rose and I aren’t the default for that anymore?”

“At least Jade and I are here this time.”

“Oh yeah, that part sucked balls. Paradox space is a little fucking bitch for never letting us catch more than glimpses of each other over three entire fucking years. We even tried asking a bunch of ghosts to carry messages, but none of them could ever find you. The unwilling Cheshire cat act was tired after a week.”

You laugh, it’s good to finally be able to talk to him again. “We could have had so many movie nights; it would have been sweet.”

“Oh gog, Karkat and I would have had so much fun tearing into Con Air while you insist it’s a good movie.”

“It’s not a good movie.”

“What? Sorry bro, these new ears must be faulty, cause I coulda sworn you just admitted Con Air is bad.”

“It seemed a lot cooler when I was younger.”

“Someone alert the papers! Scientists didn’t think it was possible, but John Egbert had exited the denial stage of grief.”

“Ha Ha, very funny, Dave. At least I can admit I like shitty things unlike someone who just waves it all off as ‘Irony’.”

“Where’s this dude, he sounds dope and I want to meet him. Sounds like the smoothest dude in creation.”

“He’s a dork.”

“Glass houses.” He was smiling but got quiet again quickly. He was trying to act normal, but it wasn’t working.

“What else is wrong.”

“Nothing.” That was a fast response.

“You look like someone stole your puppy.”

“Is it illegal to be quiet around you, Egbert.”

“Yes. You’re never quiet.”

You watch him mull something over. He normally just rambled everything.

“I’m worried about Karkat. He’s… He’s not safe back here and I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“Oh yeah, well we’ll figure something out.”

He bit his lip. Why was he freaking ou…

“HeandIaredating.”

“Congrats.”

“You… You don’t mind?”

“Did you think I would? Oh shit did I say something offensive when I realized Rose and Kanaya were together?” The look of horror on your face must have been funny, because Dave’s nervousness fled and was replaced by restrained laughter.

“Bro, if you had, Rose would have smited you on the spot and waited for you to revive so she could do it again. Then you would have gotten a three-hour lecture.”

“Glad I avoided that. And of course I don’t mind. You’re my best bro and there isn’t a thing you can do to change that.”

He pulled you into a hug. He wasn’t normally a touchy person from what you knew from your fair too few in-person meetings, but you weren’t about to turn him down.

“Would you two stop flirting in front of us for two gogdamned minutes already?”

“I’ll have you know I’m a taken man, Serket.”

“You weren’t red flirting, idiots.”

“What does that mean?” You looked at her confused, some jumbled mess of alien terms you had learned three years ago and barely since spring to mind.

“Karkat’s going to have a fucking field day explaining all that shit again. Tell me when he tries I’ll bring popcorn.”

You laugh, giving him a light shove. It was that moment that an automated voice boomed outside, as if through loudspeakers. The three trolls froze, looks of horror on their faces. You and Dave looked out the nearest window. What you saw looked like it came out of an alien invasion movie.

“EVERYONE MUST PRESENT FOR INSPECTION. THOSE WHO DO NOT COMPLY WILL BE CULLED.”

A squad of drones had landed some ways away, and the seemed to be going from house to house, checking. You watched as a door was torn open. Your hearing must be better now, because you heard the scream of what sounded like a young troll. The drone that went in came back out dragging a corpse leaking cobalt.

“Shit.” Dave’s voice sounded very small. He had lived with the Trolls for years, and Bro before that. But it only now dawned on you that part of him had been in denial.

“Shit Shit SHIT!” You turned to see Vriska almost pulling out her hair. “They shouldn’t be here yet! Megito?”

“They must have changed the scheduling while we were away.” John had been unaware trolls could look pail. Maybe it was just the mannerisms making his memory overlay the response it expected over her.

“Well, what do we do now?” Sollux had joined you, glaring out the window. His eyes crackled ever so slightly.

“They sure as shit won’t be happy to see you three here.” Vriska gestured to everyone else but you.

“Do you have any subterrain rooms? We could hide until they pass. It should only be a few minutes, they’re only culling drones.”

Vriska pointed to a door off to the side of the room, “Down two levels, third door on the left, down one more. Go!”

John was about to move when Vriska grabbed his arm. “I need backup.”

“What do you mean backup?”

“What I mean, joooooooohn, is that without my powers I can’t take those suckers on my own if they spot those three,” she gestured to the three others currently waiting in the doorway, “You’re the least likely one to get culled on sight. Worst case scenario, we get called out, you and I hold our own until those fucks can start blowing shit up!” She was smirking, why was she smirking?

“Alsoooooooo, they’re scanning for bluebloods, not rustbloods. They’ll probably see you.”

“Fuuuck!”

“She’s right.” You turned to see Aradia speak, she gave you a sympathetic smile, “You’ll be fine. Come on Dave.” She grabbed Dave, who very much looked like he didn’t want to leave his best friend.

“This is bullshit!” He gestured with his free arm.

“Welcome to Alternia!” Sollux shouted from somewhere beyond the stairs.

“We’ll be fine! Go!” If Aradia confirmed what Vriska said, then you trusted it. They’d get this over with. You turn back to Vriska. “I don’t have my powers either.”

“You’re still good with a hammer, right? Or did you skimp out on training too?” You hadn’t. Honestly, there hadn’t been much else to do during the yellow yard.

“I don’t have Zillyhoo.”

“Well then this will have to do.” Vriska hefted a warhammer from it’s mounting on her wall, grabbing a cutlass which looked much more used from an actual weapon wrack. She dropped the head of the hammer onto the floor with a dead _thud_ , leaning on the handle. “Well hero boy? You coming or not?”

You take a breathe, then grab the handle she’s leaning on, “That’s better! Now come on before they kill us.”

With that she turned and almost ran down a hallway toward what you guess must be the front door. You follow, testing the weight of your borrowed weapon. It wasn’t balanced how you liked it, but it would have to do.

Vriska strides out the front door like she owns the place, which she did. She planted her feet in a stance which could quickly change from ready to fighting. You match her, to the right and a little behind.

“What now.”

“They choose whether or not to cull you.”

“Just like that?”

“Yep.”

“Whaaaat do they base that on?”

Vriska shrugged minutely, keeping her eyes on the drones. They’d be here in thirty seconds. “Infirmity, weakness, looking at them funny. Just copy me.”

You gulp. Shit.

A drone stands in front on you, towering at at least twice your height. It did some scanny thing to Vriska first, and then did it again. You sensed a twitch from her as it passed over her a third time. Finally, it seems satisfied and goes to you. Your heart feels like it’s going to climb out your throat and make a break for it. You didn’t know where you should be looking. It’s head might give a clue as to what it was about to do. No, it was a robot and robots don’t have body language. Maybe the giant spike on it’s arm so you could dodge it.

“NO SIGN DETECTED.”

You saw Vriska’s eyes go wide out the corner of yours as she realized your collective mistake, and then everything went to hell.

\-------

TA: culliing drone 2chedule changed. get your a22e2 ready.  
CG: I HATE MY LIFE!  
AT: uH oH,

\-------

You hear a muffled screech; one you’d heard before. Vriska was pissed at something, and that could only be bad.

Your name is ARADIA MEGIDO and you had really hoped this would go smoothly.

You don’t even have time to flinch before you feel someone, Vriska, psychically poke you. Well, that was a signal if you’ve ever felt one.

You jump up from where you were sitting, turning to the two boys and grin, “You ready to have some fun?”

“Gog fucking shit Therket!”

You whirl to Dave, “Just aim for the drones!” He looks like he’s about to be sick, which was fair, you’re all probably about to die.

You blast the door in front of you open and shoot out, your matesprite outstrips you easily, and you can hear Dave bringing up the rear. 5 seconds to make it to the living room, you watch Sollux dive out the front door and the night outside lights up with psionics. The drones are equipped to handle low-blood abilities, but both of you are top of your castes, they should make a hefty dent. A thought flashes through your mind, if this goes to shit you can’t fix the timeline. No time for that! You shoot out the door at full speed, launching one drone into another at high speed as you zip past. 2 seconds ago, Vriska and John had been surrounded by three drones, now one was a smoldering wreck and the other one was caved in to the point it couldn’t move anymore.

Vriska was dodging the third one, weaving as best she could, but she couldn’t fly anymore, and her luck would run out soon. You pick up the wreckage Sollux left behind and bury the third drone under it, yanking Vriska back so she wasn’t crushed with it. You had killed her once, you two were even.

The five of you have more combat experience than many young adult trolls. These drones are clearly meant for scared kids. Maybe you have a chance.

A chance is all you need.

\-------

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you did not miss hiding from someone that wants to hurt you.

You’d been doing good, very good all things considered.

You had been able to talk about Bro. Rose and Karkat had pried it out of you, beside you the whole way.

But now you were hiding in a basement and if the _things_ outside found you they’d hurt you. You’re just standing here, familiar powers gone and new ones that you just don’t _get_. Aradia was still shielding you with hers and it was infuriating. You’d spent every conscious moment since you got here trying to get them under control. The ghosts were less but they were still _there_ , and Aradia hadn’t even asked you to try telekinesis yet! If something goes wrong you can’t rewind it. Terezi isn’t here to pull timelines together and save your friends. You don’t even have Caledscratch! You ran down here with NO WEAPON HOW STUPID ARE YOU!

Suddenly you hear a cry. _No_.

No, that’s not John, and that’s not a cry of pain. You’d heard those enough. That was Vriska, and she was _pissed_.

Aradia turns to you quick as lightning, and suddenly you’re dashing up stairs. Thank gog flashstepping isn’t a game given ability. 12 seconds. The other two are already outside and helping, being useful. What the fuck are you supposed to do?

Your eyes fall on Vriska’s weapons wrack. It’s dusty, but you can see a bastard sword next to a few of her cutlasses. You grab it, it’s not the right weight, and it’s a different make then you’re used to, and it hasn’t been sharpened in four years, and you don’t know how drones fight, and it has more reach than you’ve used before. Fuck it! You aren’t leaving John and everyone else up to hang because you’re being a coward. Johns in the exact same fucking boat and he walked out to face this shit straight-backed and smiling.

Gog damn it all to hell!

You flashstep out into the yard and… It’s going better than expected. John doesn’t even jump when you appear at his shoulder. Vriska uses her sword to short out the downed drone, two others next to her in a pile of rubble. The two psychics (who are actually useful) are currently wrecking shop and why the fuck didn’t they come help with the end game holy shit!

“We need to get the fuck out of here! Where’s Zahhak?! I know the fucker can see us!” Vriska lunges back as more drones come swarming toward them.

“Don’t know don’t care how do we get out.”

Sollux and Aradia touch down right next to them, sweat beading both of them. None of them had the Game buffing their stamina anymore.

“Running sounds good!”

“No complaints from me.”

“Where to though?”

“Not here!”

And with that all five of you book it into the night.

The run is not a fun one. You still aren’t as steady on your feet as you should be, and John looks worse off. Vriska leads the way, but it’s been four years since she was home. You all dive behind someone’s hive as she looks around wildly.

“This way.” She hisses as you watch her plunge into a ravine. You have no choice but to follow close behind. She slid down to the floor and then ducked into a crack in the rock you would never have spotted. “Come on. Hurry up!”

You slip in after her, it’s narrow, but not too bad. Eventually she stops and you almost run into her.

“Where are we?” You turn to see John right behind you. Him and Aradia are having a harder squeeze of it than you, and Sollux is just walking normally in the back.

“Terezi and I used to use these tunnels to flarp. We can get to the coast from here.”

“How far ith that?”

“Ooooooooh…. Half a league.”

“How far is a league, cause that sounds longer than a mile.” You turn to John, who shrugs.

“Jade would know.”

“It’th a long fucking way.”

“Oh come oooooooon, it’ll be fun.”

“Are you sure none of the passages have collapsed?”

“I thought you liked exploring old caves, Megido?”

“Not when we’re being hunted.”

“Alright, I suppose that’s fair. But unless anyone else has any bright ideas…….. Thought so! Come one.”

She was right, no one else had any better ideas. You did not want to try and make it above ground with the drones.

“Tho why did the droneth freak?”

Vriska growled, “John wasn’t wearing a sign.”

“Oh my gog we’re fucking idiotth.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because they barely let me past. That bucket of bolts scanned me three times before it noticed John.”

“Theethh, what do you think gave it away?”

“No idea. But if they knew something was up with me, John wouldn’t have passed.”

You let the trolls talk without interrupting. After twenty more paces the crack lets out into a chamber and you’re no longer squished between Serket and Egbert. You’re not claustrophobic, you swear.

“Alright, which way now?” You raise an eyebrow at Vriska as she looks around. There are only two other ways out that you can see.

“This way!”

“Ya sure?”

“Shut up, Strider.”

“Never have, never will.” She rolls her eyes at you and heads down the thankfully much bigger tunnel.

\-------

TA: allriight a22hole2. we’re all aliive for now.  
TA: diid that even 2end? we’re iin a fuckiing cave and ii barely have a 2iignal.  
CC: I’m glad to )(ear you’re okay. (:  
CC: Is everyone else wit)( you?  
TA: yeah, we’re all fiine.  
GA: I’m Very Glad You Had No Problem With The Drones.  
TA: diidn’t 2ay that.  
TA: iif everythiing diidn’t 2uck ii wouldn’t be iin a 2hiity cave.  
GA: Oh Dear. What Happened?  
TA: we were fuckiing iidiiot2 ii2 what happened.  
TA: we forgot to put a 2iign on egbert and he nearly got 2kewered. the re2t of u2 had to blow our cover.  
TT: Where are you now?  
TA: followiing 2erket.  
TA: whiich would normally be the dumbe2t thiing iin the uniiver2e two do but riight now we don’t have much of a choiice.  
TT: Oh dear, that puts a new crack in the plan.  
TA: rose there ii2 no plan.  
TA: we now ju2t have more 2hiit we have two wiing.  
TA: there ha2 never been anythiing that a bliind fii2h would ever mii2take a2 a plan.  
TA: how2 thii2 blowiing up iin everyone el2e2 face?  
TA: ii have yet two 2ee the two 2creamiing iidiiot2 and that make2 me worriied.  
GA: Terezi And Karkat Have Both Taken Cover. They Said They Would Be Radio Silent Until They’re Clear.  
GA: As For Tavros…  
TT: He made the choice that Gamzee was his best bet. As far as we’ve heard there’s been no problem. From my understanding the drones won’t get there for some time.  
TA: niice two know we’re not iin the 2hittiie2t 2iituatiion.  
GA: No, The Five Of You Together Should Be Alright.  
GA: I Do Wish They’d Get Back To Us. I’m Quite Worried.  
TA: hwdhiubwcbi  
GA: Sollux?  
TA: 2orry 2erket iis beiing a liittle 2hiit.  
AG: This looser w8s hogging his sign8l 8ooster!  
TA: iit’2 not hoggiing iif iit2 miine!  
GA: You Two Are Standing Right Next To Each Other. There Is No Need To Argue Over Text.  
TA: fiine.  
TA: 2o what now?  
TA: 2erket ii2 pretendiing two have a plan but ii know she doe2n’t.  
AG: Ouch! I h8ve 8 pl8n. I just h8ven’t ironed all the 8umps out yet.  
TA: really? what ii2 iit?  
AG: Roooooooose! Have 8ny 8rilli8nt ide8s 8efore I unveil my pl8n? You m8y even h8ve something good enough to incorpor8!!!!!!!!  
TT: I see what Sollux means, you have no plan.  
AG: Wh88888888t???????? Of course I h8ve 8 pl8n!  
TA: knew iit.  
AG: Shut up, Sollux! I’d loooooooove to see you do better.  
GA: Again, You Are With Each Other! There Is No Need To Fight In The Memo Board.  
TA: you’re the one who iin2ii2ted egbert go face the drone2 wiith you.  
CC: S)(ollux, you )(hould reelly clam down. Mistakes were made and t)(eres no porpoise dwelling on t)(em.  
TA: fiine.  
TA: 2he’2 2tiil full of 2hiit.  
AG: Well……... We’re he8ding tow8rd the co8st right now.  
AG: The drones will h8ve set my hive 88l8ze 8lre8dy. You h8d 8etter 8ll 8preci8te my s8cr8fices.  
TT: Of course. Continue if you would.  
AG: I h8ve one ide8, 8ut everyone will h8 it.  
TA: 2hiit.  
GA: Why Do I Have A Feeling I Know What You’re About To Suggest?  
AG: Erid8n is close 8y.

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] has been forcibly disconnected --

TA: veto.  
TA: no way iin a miiliion fuckiing 2weep2.  
TA: that2 not happeniing.  
CC: Sollux, do you )(ave a better plan?  
TA: wtf fef he kiilled you!  
CC: And I )(ave talked to )(im since.  
CC: )(e apologized multiple times in t)(e dream bubbles and again )(ere.  
CC: )(e )(as been quite nice in the last sweep. 38)  
TA: wtf?  
TA: kan, plea2e help me out here.  
GA: Rose Has Advised Me Against Getting Involved In This And I Believe I Will Listen To Her.  
TA: welp, gue22 ii’m gettiing over iit then!  
TA: ii’m beiing 2tared down by two girl2 and have another three telliing me to deal wiith iit.  
TA: damn iit where2 kk he’d back me up.  
TA: kk your mate2priite and the other douchebag are both u2ele22. ii a2ked them two back me up and the a22hole 2hrugged.  
CC: )(e)(e! I’ll sea you soon, S)(ollux! 38D  
GA: Between You And Aradia Everything Should Go Well.  
TA: waiit you’re comiing two?

\-- twinArmageddon [TA] has been forcibly disconnected –

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] has reconnected –

AG: Seeeeeeee! I told you I h8d 8 pl8n!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should really be doing me web design project that's due tonight but I did this instead.
> 
> Edit: I finally have an outline for this story(several pages of bullet points). There probably won't be an update for another week or two because I have finals... And I'm an Engineering student... Yay...


	6. Act 2 Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **CONTENT WARNING**  
>  Violence, blood, and side character death.

Your name is TEREZI PYROPE and, well, things could definitely be going better.

You should have learned not to tempt the universe sweeps ago. Maybe you’re predispositioned for it. Rose has a habit of doing it too, so maybe it’s a Seer thing. Your phone suddenly beeps with a trollian high alert. It must be serious for someone to bother using that.

TA: culliing drone 2chedule changed. get your a22e2 ready.

“Well shit.” You say to an empty room. Your hive is much as you left it, colorful and strewn with your investigation team. So, you guess it’s not completely empty, but you’re used to having someone around to snark with. Normally Vriska or Rose, sometimes Dave. Having no one that can respond is… unnerving.

Vriska. She’s one district ahead of you, which means it will take a bit for the drones to make it to you. At least you think so, if they’ve changed up the schedule over the last sweeps maybe they changed that too. Best not to risk it. You’ve made it through one culling check blind before, but each one gets harder to pass. Despite what you’ve said about Alternia’s ruthlessness, she does give the youngest a little bit of wriggling room. At least until schoolfeeding ends, and that was over two sweeps ago.

You’re… not sure how to dodge a cull effectively. You’ve never tried to before, and you aren’t feeling good about going in blind.

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] started trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

GC: H3Y K4RK4T  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?  
CG: I’M KIND OF FUCKING BUSY NOT DYING!  
GC: GL4D W3 COULD G3T STR41GHT TO TH3 PO1NT  
GC: HOW DO YOU DO TH4T?  
GC: NOT D13 1 M34N?  
CG: WHY DO YOU CARE?  
GC: US1NG J4D3S F4VOR1T3 N1CKN4M3  
GC: 1M BL1ND FUCK4SS!!!  
CG: SHIT, RIGHT!  
CG: IT’S KIND OF EASY TO FORGET WHEN YOU CAN STILL SEE FINE.  
GC: 1 DONT TH1NK TH3 DRON3S G1V3 4 SH1T 4BOUT TH4T >:/  
CG: THEIR SENSORS HAVE A HARDER TIME WORKING UNDERGROUND.  
CG: THEY’LL BE SCANNING FOR TEALBLOODS THOUGH SO YOU MAY HAVE TO BE PRETTY FAR.  
GC: 1 C4N WORK W1TH TH4T  
CG: UNLESS YOU HAVE MORE QUESTIONS WE BOTH REALLY NEED TO FUCKING MOVE.  
GC: NOP3! TRY NOT TO D13! >:D

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceaced trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

Underground. You guess that will have to do. You’ll have to go pretty far to make it to the nearest cave system, but luckily for you the night is young and Vriska is a district ahead of you schedule wise. You sniff the air. The cloak you had at six is still hanging on a hook right next to the exit of your hive. You try and place everything’s location in your memory. Everything seems to be in the same place as it was five days before you first entered the game. What was so special about that day? Never mind that, that was two sweeps ago so how the fuck do you remember exactly what your hive looked like on that seemingly random day.

These are questions that can be answered later. It looks like you’ll have a mystery on your hands as soon as you get done with not dying. You grab the cloak and fasten it. No point in making it clear whose booking it into the woods like a wingedbeast escaping the Handmaid.

\-------

Your name is ROSE LALONDE and you are currently walking on foot towards a set of coordinates. Eridan had proved himself suspiciously helpful in gathering what you’d need to make the journey in a day, or night as it were, and as far as you could tell didn’t flirt with you once. You had already tried making better time by going at an easy jog, but that had quickly proven counterproductive. If you were still in your human body you’re positive you could have done it most of the way there, but you’re not, and you have gills, and said gills make breathing dry air far more difficult than you are used to. So, a slow, agonizing walk it is.

At the very least Kanaya isn’t that far from the coast, which you managed to swim too with ease. Troll GPS doesn’t run on any system you’re familiar with, but your twin somehow managed to figure out the conversion in about ten minutes and then ran his math by Jade to be sure. You guess he got the math genes and you got an understanding of basic syntax. Either way, it’s 20 miles of mostly flat terrain. You can do that.

You’re currently making good time. The desert under your feet isn’t so much sand as hard packed dry dirt. You can see mountains off to the north, and a forest you know lines the coast is barely visible behind you. Checking the GPS it shows you’re about three fifths of the way there. A clock up in the corner says the night is under half way gone. You’re making decent time, but not enough to risk stopping.

You check the group chats. They’re mostly silent. Terezi, Karkat, and Tavros still haven’t checked back in. Kanaya, Feferi, and Eridan have all said their checks went fine. Everyone else is still up in the air. You’re not too worried about John and Dave. Despite how much you may dislike Vriska, you’re aware that she hates losing people on her team. You have a suspicion that it may be guilt about Tavros rearing it’s head, or possibly a cold shock once she realized how few people she had to work with in the final showdown, possibly realizing with the help of her moirail that if she herself hadn’t gone off the deep end for an hour they’d still have most of their team instead of half of it.

You might as well see how Jade is doing.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] started pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TT: Hello, Jade.  
GG: hi! :D  
TT: How are things progressing over in your neck of the woods?  
GG: hehe  
GG: everythings going great!!  
GG: nepeta said we wont have to worry about the drones all the way out here  
GG: and shes also really nice and funny!  
GG: equius is… well hes interesting thats for sure /:  
GG: i really dont know what to make of him though  
TT: Ah, so that’s where he was.  
TT: I was wondering, since he apparently lives right next to Vriska.  
GG: oh yeah  
GG: he came over first thing this morning  
GG: this evening?  
GG: i dont really know what to call it /:  
GG: but weve been clearing nepetas cave all day!!  
GG: and weve found some really cool things!! :)  
TT: I’m glad to here it.  
GG: she even had an old rifle in one of her chests, and because im really no good with claws she said i could have it!  
GG: id have been okay with learning to use a new weapon, but theres really nothing better in a strife then a gun  
TT: Seeing as magyks are now beyond my reach I’ll agree with you.  
TT: However, I’ll stick to my needles for the time being.  
TT: My aim is quite bad.  
GG: hehe (:  
GG: what are you doing right now?  
TT: Walking.  
GG: still?  
TT: Sadly, yes.  
TT: I’m afraid the body of a sea dweller doesn’t lend well to traveling quickly above ground for long distances.  
GG: i guess that makes sense  
GG: but arent you supposed to be royalty? couldnt you get a cab or something?  
GG: though im not sure if a cab would go to the middle of the desert /:  
TT: I probably could, but seeing as I don’t understand how anything works, along with the stories I’ve heard, I thought it best to stay as clear of other trolls I don’t know as I can.  
TT: It would be a shame if I got shivved in the back of a car on my first day on an alien world.  
TT: It would also make many people quite upset, including myself.  
GG: do they have cars here?  
TT: I don’t think so, but I’m not sure. It wasn’t really something I asked during our trip.  
TT: But as to why I originally reached out, are you alright?  
GG: yeah  
GG: hunting is much easier with two people, so we have plenty of food (:  
TT: I have every faith that you could be dropped on any planet that supported life and be able to survive quite well.  
TT: I was speaking more in the vain of psychology.  
GG: oh  
GG: well, i think im okay  
GG: this isnt the first time something like this has happened /:  
GG: but this time youre all here!!!  
GG: and even if bad things happen, i wont be completely alone for three years just thinking about it  
TT: We are sorry about that. If Dave or I had known you were all alone on that ship, we would have tried to reach you.  
TT: Even so we tried to find you in the dream bubbles. Sadly no one ever caught even a glimpse of either of you.  
GG: oh rose its not your fault ):  
GG: it was just the stupid game being a fuckass and some predestination bullshit  
GG: and anyway, now ive got all of you back!!!  
GG: not just you but the trolls too!! :D  
GG: i cant wait to talk with them all in person, especially tavros and feferi!  
TT: I am glad they’re all alive again. Even if I never interacted much with those who had died, it was still clear how much everyone missed them.  
GG: also the last time i saw dave before the scratch was when i shot him ):  
GG: and we didnt get much time to talk on the platform because i was asleep the first time and the second we all just wanted to get out of there  
GG: and now were here and i still cant see any of you face to face because im hundreds of miles away  
GG: again ):  
TT: I have a suspicion we’ll all be together very soon. Because of circumstance or choice, I’m not sure. I do know that there are several of us who will not split up, and others who can’t afford to.  
TT: Speaking of suspicions, I feel like I’m being followed…  
GG: oh no rose be careful!!!!!!!!!!

You look back down at the GPS. You have less than eight miles left. The ground under you feet has gotten distinctly sandier since the beginning of your conversation, and there is a prickling feeling on the back of your neck, no doubt left over from your memory of different instincts because you know trolls don’t have hair there, that means you’re being followed.

You glance over your shoulder in what you hope doesn’t look like a surreptitious way, but damn it you are neither Jade nor Dave and you can’t be properly sneaky if your life depends on it. You don’t see anything, but you know that all that means is your eyes didn’t pick anything up, it doesn’t mean nothing it there. Some instinct, hell if you know what one, is setting of claxons in your head and you’re going to listen to it. The senses you know about are still picking up nothing, so you say fuck it, throw caution to the wind and whirl around. Still fucking nothing! You can see jack and shit for miles in every direction.

You hate this! You hate not being able to SEE where something bad is coming from. The stupid fucking Game gave you powers long enough for you to build near perfect muscle memory for them and then ripped then away.

You can hear and feel yourself growling as you pull two of the needlelike swords from your belt. Part of your brain tries to calmly explain that this is not the rational reaction to what is most likely paranoia, but you tell that part of your brain to shut up because you don’t care to listen to it right now.

It doesn’t shut up, because you never do.

“Well aren’t you jittery for a violet. I would have thought sea dwellers would have more sense than your common rusty, but I guess you’re an exception.”

You whirl around for a second time to watch as a third and hopefully final troll pulls themselves out of a crack in the ground you hadn’t noticed before and stands beside their compatriots. The speaker has a blue symbol of her chest. It’s a darker blue than Vriska, which must mean she’s higher up on the spectrum. The other two are both teals, and as you watch a fourth girl shoots up from the ground, crackling with blue and red sparks. You haven’t seen much of Sollux in action but if this girl has his power then you are fucked.

“Now, what’s a bottom feeder like you doing in a place like this. Waters pretty far that way.” The blue blood jerks a thumb back the way you came.

“This seems like an odd place for a chance encounter. Unless of course, you live under the sand?” Maybe you can talk yourself out of this.

An expression which you would absolutely call a leer spreads over the girl’s face. “It would be quite an encounter if this was by chance. Lucky for us, Flaxis spotted you miles off. We came to… introduce ourselves to the royalty.”

The yellow blood, who you assume to be Flaxis, looks way too proud of herself for this to be anything good. For the first time in this universe, but the one millionth overall, you curse your mother for not sending you too school. The only bully you’ve ever dealt with in your life has been Vriska and that barely counts because you started your fair share of those fights and may or may not have been slightly flirting and enjoying the whole thing the entire time.

Maybe you can scare them off, “I’m afraid this royalty has places to be. I’d happily return the favor some day and show you around where I come from.”

You can’t tell if the threat to drown them sailed over their heads or not. Either way, one of the teal bloods inching what looks like a cavalry sword out of her scabbard is enough evidence as to how talking is going.

Time to abandon subtly, “If you want to see tomorrow, I would suggest picking a direction fair from where I’m going and walking in it.”

“It looks like the fish finally has some globes to go with those gills. Gilden doesn’t have a trophy from one or your kind yet, those wiggler weapons of yours would look wonderful decorating her hive.”

The yellow blood’s crackle gives you just enough warning. You leap up and to your right as she fires lasers where you stood just an instant before. You land easily on your feet and silently swear never to tell Vriska that her training is currently saving your life because you’ll never hear the end of it.

You have a single moment to figure out how you’re going to win this. The yellow blood only has her psionics but she’s still the most obviously dangerous. The blue blood has some sort of stave and the second teal has a halberd. You vaguely remember some comment about strength being proportional to blood color, so that should put you on top in hand to hand but you’re not trained in hand to hand.

Throwing your weapon in a fight is stupid, which is why the one you’re using comes with three spares.

You pray to the horrorterrors that your muscles are still capable of basically the same things as they were before and dive in.

The sword welding teal reaches you first. She feints for a thrust, but you can see where she’s actually aiming. You bring up your right-hand needle and deflect the blow that she leaned too far into. You sidestep to the left as she goes past you, and with all the strength you can muster you drive your knee up into her sternum. You have time to register that your blow caused blood to spray from her mouth before she goes flying up. You hear a cry from above you that must be the psionic trying to catch her. These ears are made for underwater, which means they’re better than the ones you’re used to. You throw your right needle straight up in the air and register a _thunk_ sound as you transfer your left needle to you right hand just in time to catch the halberd currently trying to poke holes in you. Fuck you’ve never trained against polearms before. You do the only thing you can think of. You roll in on the none axe blade side and grab the shaft with your left, yanking the teal blood closer. You thank whatever gods are out there that she looks nothing like Terezi as you bury the needle in your right hand up under her jaw and into her head. Yanking it back out she crumples onto the ground.

One dead, two injured, and a pissed off blue blood. Well, that’s better odd than when you started.

The psionic is on the ground next to the other teal, yellow blood coating one of her legs but otherwise fine. The teal is breathing but laying still on the ground. You must have punctured some internal organ for the amount of blood coming out of her mouth and nose. The blue blood stands between you, clenching her staff and growling at you in a way the troll part of your brain helpfully translates to ‘I’m going to kill you slowly and painfully’.

“If you retreat now, I won’t follow.”

That was clearly the wrong thing to say.

“What do you think we are, some cowards? I’m going to kill you for that you bitch.” She lunges at you.

You try to jump over where you thought her staff would swipe, but she’s better than the other two. Instead of hitting you with the stave, she merely swipes at you with it so you’ll drop part of your guard. Next thing you know a fist connects with your face and you fly backward, landing on your feet, but barely.

She lets out a war cry and charges, you pull a third needle out of your belt and let it fly. It hits home in her upper arm, but she doesn’t seem to care. This time you fling yourself to the side, not even bothering to set yourself up for a blow, just making sure you’re out of the way of her stave before she uses it to collapse your ribcage. A laser shoots by and you can smell charred fabric. Fuck. How do you fight against ranged? No one on the meteor used ranged weapons, it was all melee training. What the fuck did they tell you?!

You close the distance between yourself and the blue troll. Their friend may not have the aim to shoot you and not risk their friend. You just have to keep blue between you two.

Blue seems to realize this too, because suddenly they’re retreating back to their still breathing teal friend. Which leaves you with no cover at all.

You jump and weave as much as you can. Maybe psionics tire out eventually? The smell of burning hair joins the smell of singed fabric. You can’t keep this up, your lungs are screaming for air that your stupid new body can’t give them fast enough. You’re still strategizing with human limitations in mind because you don’t know what troll ones are. You can’t just out stamina the two left, you have to use your brain.

The girl you killed is still where she dropped, her halberd next to her in a pool of teal blood. You dive for it. You drop a needle and close your hand around the shaft as your leap carries you over the body. You twist upright and around in midair. If this psionic was as strong as Sollux you’d have been dead in the first five seconds, but you’re still alive, which means maybe they won’t catch this?

With that you throw the halberd, a weapon you have a split second to realize was probably never meant to be chucked at someone like a spear.

The yellow blood clearly thought the same thing judging by the look of shock on her face as the tip, which is about eight inches long, impales itself in her chest.

The sparks go out all at once. She hangs in the air for a second like some cartoon, and then tumbles to the ground in a heap on top of the teal you killed, spraying you with yellow blood to match the teal you’re drenched in and the violet running from your nose.

A shriek that you would bet your last boondollar used to be out of the range of your hearing rends the night air. The final troll is standing over the second teal who may or may not still be breathing, you can’t tell anymore. The orange that you’ve come to expect from troll eyes has vanished from the blue blood, replaced with a dark red far to close to human blood for your comfort. She’s staring at the pile of bodies between the two of you, and you suddenly realize you’re still on the ground in a growing pool of teal and yellow.

Before she can move you hear a second sound, a growl that is somehow more terrifying than anything you’ve heard from blue all night. You’ve heard it before exactly once, it sounds different now, with more tones you couldn’t hear before, but unmistakable. It’s the same sound you heard from Kanaya when she stood between you, injured and dying and hoping Jane made it before you used up a revive, and the Fish Bitch herself.

You get an impression of red to you right before the sound of a chainsaw shreds the air. There’s a flash and a spray of blue blood. Stave vs chainsaw never stood a chance. The next thing you know Kanaya is kneeling beside you, ruining her nice red skirt in the blood-soaked ground.

“Rose! Oh my gog, Rose. I’m so sorry I came as fast as I could. I was out looking for you and I saw the flashing lights. Are you hurt? What color are you? Oh, you’re a sea dweller of course you’re violet. Is that a head wound?”

Kanaya looks like you feel, strained too the last nerve and on the edge of tears. You hug her and bury your face in her chest, not caring that you’re now adding your own blood to the mix. “I shouldn’t have come by myself. I’m so sorry. I was being stupid.”

“It’s not your fault. I should have told you not to do it. Can you walk?” Kanaya is now running a hand through your hair, holding you like she doesn’t want to let go. You don’t want to let go either.

“I can make it anywhere we need to.”

You feel her nod. She pulls you to your feet and you can look around. The carnage is… too much. These weren’t game constructs. These weren’t evil tyrants who had committed so many genocides your species barely made a blip on her list. You… You just got into a fight with kids your age and killed them. You just killed three kids. You register that Kanaya leaves your side for a second, and then cool metal presses itself into your palm. You slide the needles back into their sheaths without looking at them or bothering to clean off any remaining blood. You don’t want to know which ones are which colors right now.

You don’t normally descend into blurs. The last one you remember was when you were still drinking, and even then, loosing time was difficult. Maybe it was part of the curse of being a Seer with a aspect that could be explained as ‘true events’, but the only way you ever lost time or memories was if you got blackout drunk.

You don’t remember the rest of the trip. You find yourself sitting on a couch, with a blanket wrapped around yourself and something that smells suspiciously like coffee in a mug in front of you on a coffee table. Next to it is your PDA, with the GPS next to that.

Opening your mouth to speak, you find that your throat feels dry and cracked.

“What time is it?”

Kanaya is sitting next to you on the couch, close enough that some sense you’re not conscience of can tell she’s there, but not close enough to brush up against you accidently.

“Sunrise is in a little under two hours. Are you feeling alright?”

“Not really.”

“I hope you don’t mind that I cleaned you up a bit. I was looking for injuries but couldn’t find any.”

“Not at all. I… physically I think I’m fine.” You reach out blindly until she takes your hand. You say the next words as a whisper, “I can’t stop seeing them.”

Kanaya squeezes your hand and comes closer, brushing up against you. “Rose. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I could have done something to stop it. If I could still See maybe I could have talked my way out of it.”

“Even so, you can no longer See, so it doesn’t matter what you could have done. You did nothing wrong.”

“I killed three people.”

“They attacked you. Even on Earth my understanding is that those deaths would have been considered self-defense.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s okay.”

“Rose, they wanted to kill you. You had no choice in the matter.”

You can feel new tears track down your face, but you don’t care. Kanaya has seen you cry before, and you’ve left the shame of crying in front of her behind long ago. You feel her arms go around you and sink into her. Today has been nothing but awful for you and everyone you love.

You don’t know how long you stay like that. The curtains are drawn over the windows, so only the barest sliver of light reflecting shows that it’s getting brighter outside. You’re both wired out of your mind and tired. Part of your brain laments that human adrenaline would have dropped you into a dreamless sleep in you lover’s arms by now. Sadly, you now have whatever the troll equivalent is called and it’s still firing neurons that you really wish would shut up.

The buzz of pesterchum, or trollian, honestly the two are nearly identical, rouses you from whatever weird state you had sunk into. You grab at your PDA and see the main chat and a side one lighting up. Main chat first.

CG: CAN’T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY FUCKERS.  
TA: good. ii wa2n’t lookiing forward to telliing dave iif you kiicked iit.  
GC: 1 4M 4LSO CL34R 4ND 4LMOST B4CK TO MY H1V3  
CG: TEREZI YOU HAD BETTER FUCKING MAKE IT BEFORE THE SUN COMES UP. IT’S NOT THE DIM SEASON ANYMORE AND I NEED SOMEONE WHO HAS THE ABILITY TO CONTAIN VRISKA.  
AG: Aaaaaaaaw, he does h8ve a bloodpusher 8fter 8ll.  
GC: 1 4M 4T THE BOTTOM OF MY TR33 1 TH1NK 1 C4N M4K3 1T UP TH3R3 1N TH3 N3XT HOUR  
GC: 4LSO 4R3 YOU F1V3 ST1LL 1N 4 FUCK1NG C4VE?  
AG: Wellllllll……..  
TA: ye2.  
GG: at least theyre sharing the signal enhancer now  
GG: i was trying to have a conversation with john but one of them kept stealing it :|  
TA: not my fault.  
AG: you 8re the one who only 8rought one of those things with you.  
TA: vrii2ka ii diidn’t thiink ii’d end up 2tuck iin a cave wiith you. ii'm 2o fuckiing 2orry ii diidn’t 2chedule that iin advance.  
TA: iit ii2 legiit one of the only thiing2 ii grabbed before ii had to rocket acro22 the contiinent at mach fuckiing two.  
GC: 1TS W13RD W2TCH1NG TWO P3OPL3 F1GHT 1N 4 PUBL1C M3MO 4ND N31TH3R OF TH3M B3 K4RK4T  
CG: I KNOW RIGHT. IT’S REALLY REFRESHING WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE BE IDIOTS FOR A CHANGE.  
CG: ESPECIALLY WHEN WE ALL KNOW THEY’RE PROBABLY RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO EACH OTHER BUT ARE STILL PASSIVE AGRESSIVELY LEAVING EVIDENCE OF THEIR STUPIDITY FOR ALL TOO SEE.  
TA: ..  
AG: ……..Oops  
AT: hEY EVERYONE.  
AT: gAMZEE AND i ARE BOTH OKAY.  
AT: aND… uH… hE SEEMS TO BE FINE, lIKE, mENTALLY WISE.  
CG: WELL I’M GLAD YOU’RE OKAY, BUT I’M STILL SUSPICIOUS OF THE CLOWN.  
CG: HAVE YOU SEEN A WEIRD PUPPET ANYWHERE IN HIS HIVE?  
AT: nO, i DON’T THINK SO.  
AG: Well if it does possess someone, Tavros would 8e the 8est option.  
AG: E8siest one to take out. It’s not like he can do much damage in that ch8ir of his.  
AT: vRISKA i’M NOT GOING TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU ANYMORE.  
AT: lAST TIME i CHECKED, i UH… gOT ALL THE GHOSTS TO FOLLOW ME WHEN YOU COULDN’T.  
AT: bECAUSE i WAS NICE TO THEM INSTEAD OF MEAN LIKE YOU.  
CG: DO MY GANDERBULBS DECEIVE ME OR DID TAVROS JUST BURN VRISKA SERKET ALIVE?  
AG: Hey!!!!!!!!  
AT: i MEAN… i WOULDN’T SAY THAT…  
AT: i WAS JUST POINTING OUT THAT… wELL… i’M NOT USELESS.  
AT: wAS i TOO MEAN?  
GG: no tavros you were great!!! :D  
TA: ii’ve never 2een her turn thii2 color before, thii2 ii2 great.

\-- twinArmageddon [TA] has been forcibly disconnected --

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] has been forcibly disconnected --

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] has joined the memo --

TG: you remember when she rolled a nat 1 against the final boss in terezis campaign like a year ago  
TG: she looks even more pissed now  
TG: jhbiwbefobwefe

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] has been forcibly disconnected --

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] has joined the memo –

EB: why did you throw this to me?

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] has disconnected --

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] has joined the memo --

AG: HA!!!!!!!!

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] has been forcibly disconnected --

\-- twinArmageddon [TA] has joined the memo --

TA: thii2 ii2 miine, none of you can have iit, and john you are a traiitor for handiing iit two her.  
CG: WE’VE BEEN MISSING OUT ON A COMEDY GOLDMINE FOR SWEEPS.  
CG: TAVROS, PLEASE KEEP SASSING SERKET.  
CG: THIS IS THE SINGLE MOST ENTERTAINING THING I’VE SEEN FOR WEEKS.  
AT: uHH…

While the mental image of what went down in that cave is indeed funny and reminiscent of loony toons, you switch over to the other chat.

\-- adiosToreador [AT] started trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --

AT: hEY,  
AT: sO, i KNOW WE HAVEN’T TALKED MUCH,  
AT: oR MAYBE NEVER,  
AT: iT WAS A WHILE AGO AND i DON’T THINK i CAN REMEMBER,  
AT: bUT i WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING,  
AT: pEOPLE SEEM TO LISTEN TO YOU  
AT: aND YOU ALWAYS SEEMED NICE… iF A BIT TERRIFYING,  
TT: I assure you I am only purposefully terrifying to those who wish me or my friend ill.  
AT: oH, wELL THAT’S GOOD i GUESS,  
AT: i WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT GAMZEE,  
TT: Color me intrigued.  
AT: i AM NOT SURE WHAT COLOR THAT WOULD BE,  
AT: i’M AT HIS HIVE NOW, aND i KNOW HE DID BAD THINGS,  
AT: i TALKED TO SO MANY GHOST VERSIONS OF ALL OF US WHO SAID, wHO SAID THAT HE WENT INSANE AND KILL EVERYONE,  
AT: aND i KNOW HE DID IN OUR TIMELINE TOO,  
AT: bUT HE SEEMS COMPLETELY NORMAL, aROUND ME AT LEAST,  
AT: hE’S ONLY A LITTLE HIGH, lESS THAN HE USED TO BE,  
AT: i’VE BEEN TALKING TO HIM AND, wELL, hE DOESN’T SEEM TO REMEMBER MUCH,  
AT: hE REMEMBERS RIGHT UP TO i THINK WHEN WE WENT TO THE BATTLEFIELD, aND UH, bEAT THE BLACK KING,  
AT: bUT AFTER THAT HE HASN’T GOT ANY MEMORIES,  
TT: That is interesting indeed.  
TT: Are you positive he isn’t deceiving you in some way?  
AT: yES, i MEAN, i DON’T THINK SO,  
TT: Does he still have the scars that Nepeta gave him?  
AT: uMMM,  
AT: nO,  
TT: I’m finding what state the Game chose to drop us off in very interesting.  
TT: Kanaya is no longer undead, but as far as I know Vriska still has her restored arm and eye. Now Gamzee doesn’t have the mark Nepeta gave him in defense.  
TT: Are you quite sure the puppet is no longer in his possession?  
AT: i’M SURE,  
AT: aLSO i AM BACK TO NOT HAVING WORKING LEGS,  
TT: Alright, what was your initial request?  
AT: wELL, yOU SEEM RESONABLE, aND EVERYONE LISTENS TO YOU,  
AT: i WAS WONDERING IF YOU COULD CONVINCE EVERYONE TO NOT KILL GAMZEE THE NEXT TIME THEY SEE HIM,  
AT: i WOULD ASK KARKAT, bUT EVEN THOUGH HE SAID NO KILLING, i THINK HE MAY HAVE A GRUDGE,  
AT: bECAUSE OF NEPETA,  
AT: aND i GUESS ALSO EQUIUS, bUT MOSTLY NEPETA,  
TT: If he is no longer under Lord English’s control I see no reason for him to be a threat. If I understand correctly, he was a good friend to all of you before the Game started.  
TT: The emotion I anticipate if it is made clear he was under an influence would be relief.  
AT: iS THAT A YES?  
TT: Yes.  
AT: oH, tHANK YOU, i UH, i OWE YOU ONE, wELL, pROBABLY MORE THAN ONE,  
TT: Don’t worry about it.  
AT: wELL, i’M GOING TO GO NOW, jUST TO MAKE DOUBLE SURE HE’S OKAY,  
AT: tHANK YOU, aGAIN,  
TT: You’re welcome.

\-- adiosToreador [AT] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT] --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finals ended and then I wrote this in a single sitting. As always I hope you enjoyed it. I need to do more work on Rose's voice to really get how her character talks.


	7. Act 2 Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!
> 
> I am never ever ever writing pesterlog for Gamzee again. That took way to long for like 50 words.
> 
> Ignore that I changed the chapter titles again. I can't plan for shit.

_Hours in the past, but not many._

Your name is TAVROS NITRAM and you’re thinking. You have time for that. Spending so long in the dream bubbles gave you time to learn that thinking things through first is normally a good idea.

You’re back in your chair. You aren’t the biggest fan of this development. Working legs were very useful. They were especially useful when avoiding being culled, at the time by a giant green skull monster, and now by imperial drones.

But no problem is impossible to solve unless you believe it is.

What should you do? You could stay at your hive and hope the drones pass by, but you’ve never known them to do that so that’s a bad plan. Terezi and Karkat are both going to go hide somewhere, but you don’t have woods nearby, just coastline. Your chair would make that difficult and getting stuck would be very bad.

You can think of one other option… But you aren’t sure.

\-- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC] –

AT: hEY, gAMZEE,  
AT: aRE YOU AWAKE,  
AT: nO ONE HAS HEARD FROM YOU, aND SOME BAD STUFF IS HAPPENING,  
AT: gAMZEE,  
TC: HeLl YeS i’M aWaKe, BrOtHeR.  
TC: WhAt WoUlD tHiS mOtHeRfUcKiNg BaD sTuFf Be ThAt’S gOt YoU aLl BoThErEd?  
AT: oH, wELL, iT’S GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU,  
AT: bEFORE WE GET TO, tHAT, dO YOU FEEL OKAY,  
TC: I’vE gOt A wIcKeD pAnAcHe.  
TC: BuT i ThInK i’M aLl AlRiGhT, tAvBrO.  
AT: nO THOUGHTS ABOUT, uHH, mURDERING PEOPLE,  
TC: FuCk No My BrOtHeR! WhErE wOuLd I gO gEtTiNg IdEaS lIkE tHat?  
AT: sO, dO YOU REMEMBER THE GAME?  
TC: We WoN tHaT, dIdN’t We?  
TC: SoRrY, tAvRoS, iT’s AlL a LiTtLe ScRaMbLeD iN mY pAn.  
TC: MaYbE i ShOuLdN’t HaVe DrAnK tHaT fAyGo…  
AT: nO, yOU PROABALY SHOULDN’T EAT ANYTHING IN YOUR HIVE,  
AT: iT’S ALL KIND OF OLD,  
AT: wHATS THE LAST THING YOU REMEMBER ABOUT THE GAME,  
TC: We WeRe AlL aBoUt To GeT oUr MoThErFuCkInG hErO oN aGaInSt ThE bLaCk TyRaNt!  
TC: I tHiNk We Won.  
AT: yEAH, wE DID,  
TC: GoOd. It WoUlD hAvE bEeN rIgHt MoThErFuCkInG aWfUl If We LoSt AfTeR aLl ThAt RiGhTiOuS eFfOrT eVeRyOnE pUt In.

He… doesn’t seem to remember. You weren’t around by the time he went crazy, but every crazy Gamzee you met and befriended in the dream bubbles was the same. Not to be mean, but they couldn’t fake sanity for shit.

You guess you know what you’re doing now.

-

_Back in the present, whatever that happens to arbitrability mean._

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you are so fucking sick of caves. It occurs to you that people on Earth used to unironically do this for fun, but if someone stuck a gun to your skull and asked you to explain why the inside of your head would paint a gory Jackson Pollock painting on the wall behind you. You aren’t even having the hardest time of it, John has gotten stuck twice, and Aradia gave up on not using her telekinesis for fear of destabilizing the rocks around you all after half an hour.

Alternia, being the hell planet that it is, also has spiders to match. You did not let out a scream in a pitch you thought you stopped being able to reach at 10, there is no proof of it. Vriska is the only one not casting glances back down the way you all came after that particular cavern. She probably would have kept one as a pet if John hadn’t practically dragger her away. You’re fine with spiders, when they’re dead and on display. As far as you’re concerned nothing that moves like _that_ has any business being that _big_.

It also isn’t helping that whenever there is so much as a ping from whoever’s ‘palmhusk’ Sollux’s signal booster thing is attached to, he and Vriska start bickering over who gets to use it. The solution Aradia dragged out of them seems engineered to produce a conflict, as it involves them standing right next to each other, both palmhusks, alright, no, you’re calling them phones, with both phones hooked up together with a very short cable. You’re like, 80% sure they aren’t pitchflirting, but you’re not _sure_. If Karkat was here, well, you wouldn’t have to ask him he’d already have accused them of doing it whether they were or not.

Karkat. Shit. You are never letting that loveable loudmouth out of your sight again. One day of you two being separated and both of you nearly die at the hand of shitty science fiction plot devices. Seriously, what cliché-soaked brain thought up bright red murder drones and decided they had any place outside of original Star Trek? Not even a reoccurring threat either, oh no, the one-shot threat that get’s nodded to in a series made thirty years later that all the hardcore super sincere fans go nuts for.

You hear cursing behind you. Honestly, it’s so tame it’s adorable. You guess being raised by a functional guardian means John doesn’t flip his shit at the slightest provocation like everyone but you does. You and John are cool as ice up in this cave. Cool as the motherfucking south pole. The south pole is cooler than the north pole because the north pole is filled with factories using forces elf labor. They’ve gotta have a coal mine to get all the stuff to fill all the bad kids’ stockings. The north pole irresponsibly burns fossil fuels. Okay, this line of thought got away from you.

You nearly bump into Aradia as she comes to a halt in front of you in the too narrow passage. You guess you’re lucky you haven’t had to crawl anywhere yet.

Vriska is looking between two paths in front of you. She swears she knows the way to the sea, but you aren’t totally sure she does. You do believe she did once, but it’s been what, four years since the trolls all left Alternia? Half of your teen years is plenty of time to forget just about anything.

“Are you thure you know where we’re going?”

“Yes! Now shut up and let me think.” She keeps glancing between the two. With a huff, she walks to one and runs her fingers over a shot in the wall.

“This way.”

“Did you mark the way?”

“Yes, but obviously not well enough. If I knew it would have to take sweeps of weathering, I would have used something better. Oh well, not all of us can be seers before the Game even starts.” Vriska starts to strut down her chosen path.

Aradia doesn’t move, “Would you say you’re lucky that mark is still there?”

Vriska pauses and looks back to her, “I would say. I was kind of an idiot back then.”

You can see the gears turning in Aradia’s head, but she just nods and starts walking again. You see Sollux ask her something, but you give them their distance.

“Hey, Dave.” You turn around, “You’ve been… really quiet.”

“Missing the sweet sound of the Strider vocal cords already, Egbert.”

“Ha ha, Dave. Yes, I am starved after three lonely years without having to listen to a single one of your raps.”

“Don’t diss my raps man, they’re the music of the gods and you know it. Wait, you had Davesprite, didn’t he rap?”

An unmistakable look of guilt comes bleeding out of every line and shadow of John’s face, “Errrr…”

“What?”

“Well, we didn’t really… get along.”

“How is that even possible. He was me but five months older and with wings, and you’re, well, you.”

“It was complicated okay. It was just the three of us and none of us had met in person before. Jade had just told me we wouldn’t get to see any of you for three years. We tried to get to the dream bubbles, but nothing ever worked. I saw you and Rose once, and then I got stabbed and woke up before I could even say anything. None of us could even find doomed versions of you.”

“So… what? You three got a sick case of cabin fever and started taking it out on each other?”

“It wasn’t like that. Davesprite and Jade started dating and I was left on my own a lot.”

“Hold up, Davesprite and Jade did what? When did that happen?”

“Err, that was a while ago, maybe… three months in.”

“And how long did it last?”

“Over a year.”

“Were you two spending half the journey fighting over your sister?”

“When you put it like that it sounds weird.”

“I say this as your best bro. It’s very weird."

“When the only people to talk to are your sister and a bird version of your best friend who’s being a total asshole it’s no longer weird.”

“Well it sounds like we both spent way too much time third wheeling for our respective sisters. Never tell Rose. She will pick you apart.”

“Speaking of relationships, how did you and Karkat become a thing? If that’s okay to ask. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to or it’s private or something.” Even in the dim light you can see him blush blue.

“That’s the best Segway you’ve got? Damn, Egbert, you’re out of practice.” He’s somehow going even bluer, “Just kidding, it’s no big deal. It was just the six of us all stuck in close quarters for three years, I don’t count the clown. Eventually we all realized eavesdropping could become a competitive sport and there went every secret any of us ever wanted to keep. Vriska tried to make it a hate-flirting thing with Rose. Have you ever gotten a text at three in the morning from your sister, asking you to come over and check her girlfriend’s room for bugs? Good, cause it was fucking weird.”

“You’re trip sounds more interesting than mine.”

“Yeah so, everyone kind of paired off instantly. Vriska and TZ were obviously a thing. Rose discovered her interest in vampire fashionistas, and that left my choices of who to hang out with kind of limited. The clown was fucking terrifying and fucked off instantly, and the Mayor was dope, but he couldn’t talk.”

“So, you two just started hanging out.”

“Nope.”

“But you just said…”

“I said my choices for prime bro were limited. I never said I wasn’t going to make myself miserable before I hung out with a guy who at the time drove me up the wall, and not in the fun way.”

He looks confused.

“Oh gog, you’re innocent.”

“Wha- Oh! Dave!”

“Oh my gog, that took you so fucking long man. That wasn’t even a good freudian slip _and_ I did it on purpose.”

“I’m out of practice.”

“Okay, back to the story before I go down _that_ tangent. The two of us got lonely, and the choice was third wheeling for either the murder sisters or the goth lesbians, so we ended up hanging out a lot. I never thought I’d find someone with worst taste in movies than you but damn, Karkat broke out the top shelf trash for those first few movie nights. Did you know trolls made a version of Twilight?”

“That movie has some redeeming qualities.”

“I’m gonna make you watch every version I can find. Everyone’s invited. You have to sit between Rose and Kanaya.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.”

You give him your best ‘no it really is that bad’ deadpan. “Anyway, everything kind of went from there. Compared to the everyone else it was fucking Hallmark.”

“That sound a lot better than last time.” His eyes aren’t focused on anything when you look back, just staring ahead.

“Why’s that?”

“I didn’t really get a chance to talk to anyone before it all went to shit…” He’s chewing on his bottom lip, which must hurt a lot more now with troll teeth but he either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. “Vriska was dead, Terezi was a mess, Rose’s last words were that she never told Kanaya she loved her. You were dead by the time I got there, but the impression I got from Terezi wasn’t a good one. She couldn’t tell me anything really, we were both to worried about fixing it, but…” He stops. You can get the rest of his meaning.

“Don’t let spiderbitch hear that. Her ego is big enough already.”

“Isn’t calling her that mean?”

“She calls herself that.”

“Are we stopping?”

“What? OW!” You keep forgetting about the horns. They remind you painfully of their presence when you forget you need more than a few inches of head clearance and smack into a low hanging rock. You’re the picture of grace when John catches your shoulders and stops you from falling on your ass.

“Are you to idiots done being lame?”

“Shut up, Spiderbitch.”

“At least when I talk useful words come out. Now get your butts over here and stop muttering like senile lusii.”

You get back on your feet and lead John over to where the other three have gathered. You’re not sure how you didn’t notice the fresh air seeping into the cave half an hour ago, but the bright light of Alternian night streams in through an opening. You’ve never been to the ocean back on earth, you can’t remember if you ever went outside Houston city limits, but the scent of saltwater and fish is unmistakable.

Aradia is sticking her head out, looking from side to side before coming back.

“I didn’t see anything. If anyone is out there, they’re hiding.”

“Great. Now we just need the two fishy fucks to get their asses over here and pick us up before we get stranded. I wonder if I have enough signal…” Vriska struts over to the mouth of the cave and sticks her phone out. You can hear the beeping of messages as soon as she gets near it.

“Awesome. Now I don’t have to borrow that lame gadget to coordinate everyone. Lalonde has already needed a bail out and it’s been one fucking day.”

“Vrithka, we are literally in the middle of getting our own buldgethucking aththeth bailed out.”

“Yes, but we were attacked by drones while minding our own business. She ran off by herself the first chance she got. Shortsightedness is a bad look on her?”

“What?”

You mime a ‘shut up’ motion to Sollux until he sees it. You are not in the mood to get Vriska complaining about her one-sided (according to Rose) pitchcrush. You think he rolls his eyes at you, but you can’t tell.

Vriska is tapping away at a message to someone, you stopped asking questions about her plans long ago. Being in the know is just not worth it. Sollux is messing with something on his phone (can you really call it a phone if it has more processing power than an experimental supercomputer?). He’s muttering something to himself, getting progressively louder as he starts swearing.

“What is it?” Aradia is leaning over his shoulder, which is a lot closer than you’d be willing to get right now. He seems pissed off, and you can see blue and red sparks flying at random every few seconds.

“Thith aththhole meththaged me a random buldgefucking code and I can’t fucking track him. It’th like the motherfucker thent me thith thecret code bullthhit and deleted himthelf from the univerthe.”

Okay, that’s interesting enough to get you up from your position leaning against the wall and looking over Sollux’s shoulder.

48 41 4c 20 50 49 4e 47 49 4e 47 20 54 54 2f 54 47 2f 47 47 2f 45 42  
TA: what the fuck?  
TA: who are you?  
4c 4f 43 41 54 45 44  
TA: what the fuck ii2 that 2uppo2ed two mean?

The text is glaring red, but you’re the only one who types like that. There’s no handle, and the window it opened in is blank. Sollux seems to be having trouble closing it, if the tapping at where the x button _should_ be is any indication.

“Thith ith like your fucking white text guy, Vrithka. You know, the evil one. I could never track that fucker.”

Now everyone is looking at the screen.

“He might have turned out to be a suicidal evil tool, but he didn’t send shit like that.” She jabs a claw at the screen.

“I tried tracking hith IP enough to know _that_.”

“Do you know what that code means?” John looks like he’s reading it over and over again.

“I don’t recognize it, but it can’t be too hard to crack.”

John tilts his head to the side and ‘hmm’s at the screen. “The highest character it goes up to is an ‘f’.”

“It could go higher. Thith meththage ith really fucking thhort.”

“Oh god, it was so long ago. Could it be something in hex?”

Sollux peals his eyes away from the screen to stare at John. You do too, because he was always shit at code.

The blue blush is coming back to his face as he starts stammering, one hand absentmindedly scratching the back of his neck, “You know, hexadecimal? It’s like, err, a computer base code thing. It’s better than binary or something.”

You could swear the guy’s eyebrow starts twitching when John subsides into mumbled computer nonsense.

“Why the fuck did humanth invent base thix math, and how would you even uthe that for computerth?”

“I think it was sixteen. Jade would probably know more.”

This guy definitely looks like he’s about to have an aneurism. He used to be best friends with Karkat from what you know, so that checks out. Wait, is that a ‘used to’ situation? Half of these people have been dead or attending dead raves in dreamland for three years, but then again, John’s still your best bro and you’ve barely talked to him in three years…

That train of thought goes nowhere and you’re going to take it behind the barn before you get dragged down with it.

“It’th fine. I’ll jutht plug in bathe thixteen and have an algorithm tholve it.” He apparently does just that with a few taps on the screen. It runs for a minute, and then starts churning out error messages.

“You could send it to Jade and see if she can figure it out. She’s really good at computers and math and sciency stuff.” John is seemingly oblivious that this guy is on the edge of a fit, over not being able to instantly solve some shitty code.

Vriska get’s that evil look on her face that she reserves for torturing her friends. “Yes, Sollux. You should send that measly little code off to Jade. I’m sure she could solve it in two shakes of her barkbeast tail.” She’s positively leering by the time she finishes.

You take a few steps back. You saw a doomed version of this guy loose it once in a dream bubble, you don’t want to be standing anywhere near the blast radius that’s about to turn Vriska into ground zero. You pull John away too because the dude has no sense of self preservation and this is only entertaining until blood get’s spilled.

He seems to mull over turning Serket into a pile of slag for a moment, the shit eating look on her face saying she knows he won’t. Instead, he does something more destructive.

“You know what. I will thend thith to Jade. If Egbert recognized it, maybe it’th thome human code. If it ith, that meanth it’th thome Game bullthhit, becauthe there aren’t any humanth in thith univerthe. I’m tho glad you’ve grown up into thuch a helpful friend over the latht thweep.” With that, he very deliberately taps a claw on his screen, and within moment you see it flood with lime green text. He keeps perfect eye contact the entire time.

Vriska apparently wanted to get melted into a pile of blue slime, because she seems put out that she couldn’t coax a shouting match out of someone. Or maybe the look of disgust is because she was accused of being helpful out of the good of her heart. “Whatever. I’m going to go message _Eridan_ and see what’s taking him so long.” She turns on her heel and stalks out of the mouth of the cave.

“I feel like I missed something.” You’re still holding John’s arm in a death grip. You let go as his voice startles you.

“Fuck her. Harley ith blowing up my trollian.”

\-- twinArmageddon [TA] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] --

TA: hey, ii wa2 wonderiing iif you could iid 2omethiing for me?  
TA sent attachment weiird2hiit.txt  
GG: hi!!!  
GG: what’s that???  
TA: don’t know. egbert thiink2 iit’2 2ome human thiing called hexadeciimal.  
TA: ii can’t crack iit wiith ju2t my 2hiity palmhu2k.  
TA: ii wa2 hopiing you could 2ave me the trouble.  
GG: hmmm…. :/  
GG: it miiiiight be acsii  
TA: what2 that?  
GG: character codes! if someone sent you a message it’s probably using those  
GG: i don’t know why anyone would bother though :?  
TA: can you crack iit?  
GG: oh sure! my grandpa made me memorize all of them!!! (:

“Ith thhe thith happy all the time?”

“I’ve seen her lose it once, but otherwise yeah.”

GG sent attachment message.txt  
GG: it came out as words so i think i was right  
GG: i don’t know anyone named hal?

Sollux taps to open the attachment, “Oh thhit! Thith cannot be good.”

HAL PINGING TT/TG/GG/EB  
TA: what the fuck?  
TA: who are you?  
LOCATED  
TA: what the fuck ii2 that 2uppo2ed two mean?

“That’th not ominouth at all.”

“Isn’t Hal the evil robot from Space Odyssey?” You can’t even be mad at John for his first thought being movies.

“It’s also just a normal fucking name. Sure, I don’t know how many parents are naming their screaming gremlins ‘Hal’ but it’s a real name.”

“I don’t think it’s literally the evil robot, even if that would be really cool.”

“It really wouldn’t. Also, it was an AI, stop being racist against computers and maybe they’ll have mercy on us.”

“Jeguth do you two ever thhut up?”

You’re saved from answering that when Vriska sticks her head back in the cave. “No, he doesn’t. By the way, they’re here.”

-

Your name is SOLLUX CAPTOR and you. Are. PISSED.

How DARE this asshole show back up! How DARE he even try to apologize! He killed two of your best friends and tried to kill you too! So what if Kan had walked it off? She had to live the next sweep and a half with a hole where her guts should be. AND FEFERI SURE AS SHIT DIDN’T WALK IT OFF!!!!

“Hi, Sol.”

“Hi. That’th all you’ve got? Hi!”

“Look I… I don’t knoww wwhat to do.” He’s not looking at you, wringing his hands and staring at the ground blindly.

“Don’t know… Don’t know what to do?! How about you go die in a thtinking PIT, Ampora!”

“I’m sorry, okay!” Eridan finally faces you. He looks like absolute shit. You don’t care.

“THORRY! YOU’RE THORRY?! YOU TRIED TO KILL ME! YOU KILLED FEFERI AND KANAYA!”

“I thought it wwas the best thing to do at the time, okay! Wwe wwere all just wwaiting for Jack to come and kill us.”

“Tho you thought it would be a good idea to do it firtht?! Conveniently getting thome revenge againtht thomeone who rejected you in the meantime.”

“That wwasn’t wwhy I did it.”

“DON’T LIE YOU PIECE OF THIT!”

“Alright! I wwas an asshole! I wwas the biggest asshole! And I’m fuckin sorry about that! I wwas pathetic! Part of me did do it for revenge but that wwasn’t the only reason.”

“Oh _yeth_! Letth hear how you’ve rathionalized thith one to be not your fault!”

“It wwas my fault!”

That stuns you. You… honestly hadn’t expected him to admit that.

Eridan steamrolls ahead before you can start shouting again. “It wwas my fault! I wwas so fuckin stupid and pathetic about the entire thing. Of course Fef didn’t wwant to be my moirail, I was terrible at it! I wwould have made a wworse matesprite. I wwas a shelfish piece of work. But that wwasn’t the only reason I tried to kill you! If that wwas the reason wwhy wwould I havve hurt Kanaya! I did it because Jack wwould have been wworse!”

“You didn’t know that you thorry bathtard! We could have all ethcaped together! You could have helped thtop Gamzee from going nutth and killing Equiuth and Nepeta! We could have left that thethon with one fucking cathualty if you hadn’t tried to murthy kill uth!”

At that Eridan deflates a bit. You’re right and he knows it. You two could have gone with Fef and Kan and taken care of Gamzee. Instead Karkat had been forced to send Equius to do it. If Terezi hadn’t found the bodies, maybe she wouldn’t have tried to kill Vriska. Maybe with all of you that first timeline wouldn’t have burned to the point Egbert had to tear it to shreds and start over. You and AA could have stayed on the meteor with all your friends. You love AA, but spending sweeps flitting from one bubble to the next had been lonely. You had been lonely. Your moirail was dead, as were a bunch of your friends, and so was this idiot in front of you that you still want to care about because you’re a fucking idiot.

“We got out! We made it out fine! All you had to do wath WAIT! One more fucking HOUR and everything would have been alright! But no! You lotht HOPE! YOU! You can’t claim it wath merthy you bottomfeeding piecthe of thit!”

“I knoww that! I’vve knowwn that for swweeps! I wwatched from those fuckin bubbles and instantly kneww wwhat I did! Wwhy do you think none of you ever saww me? I couldn’t see any of you again. I couldn’t face you after wwhat I did. I knoww you and Aradia wwent around, looking for tha alpha versions of everyone, but I couldn’t do it.”

“Good! You detherve to be mitherable. You detherve to be a lot more mitherable than jutht being fucking lonely.”

“You don’t have to believe me. I wwouldn’t believe me either.”

“I don’t. I thhouldn’t have given you the Game fileth to begin with. It would have been better if you died in fire like the retht of our kind.”

“The only person I talked to again wwas Tavros.”

What?

“Why the fuck did you talk with Tavroth?”

“He found me, asked me if I wwanted to help. I told him he wwas better off wwithout me, but he didn’t take no for an answwer. Something about howw I could make up for fuckin’ up so bad.”

“What the fuck? You can’t make up for murdering people! You can’t jutht do one thouthand thweepth of community thervice and then expect everything to be better!”

-

Your name is JOHN EGBERT and wow this is really awkward. You have only a vague idea of who these two are, but boy are they yelling. You’re pretty sure they forgot the rest of you are all just standing there with nowhere else to go. You feel like you shouldn’t be listening, this feels private, but it’s like watching a train wreck. The girl you think is Feferi, if Jade’s description is accurate, is standing on the deck of the ship, just peeking out of the fingers covering her face. Vriska’s mouth is a single flat line, her arms crossed, and she’s tapping her foot impatiently. You glance over at Dave at the same time he glances over at you, his eyes visible behind the shades at this angle. You both want to be somewhere else. He motions his head and you nod, starting to inch your way toward the gangplank that someone bothered to lower before the shouting match broke out. You tap Vriska on the shoulder and motion for her to follow you. She’s rolls her eyes but does.

Yeah, you’re… you’re just going to leave those two to work it out.

The ship is small. You think it looks like a schooner, but you saw one only like, once in a movie. You and Dave step foot on the deck with Vriska behind you.

“Permission to board, Captain?” Dave makes a show of stopping short before he actually steps onto the deck. Vriska makes an irritated noise behind him that you translate to ‘get out of the way’.

“Permission granted! I don’t think we’ve met. Feferi Peixes, returned and possibly still abdicated heiress!”

Before either of you have a chance to speak, Aradia jumps up onto the deck. Planks are just a suggestion when you can fly with really cool mind powers.

“Feferi! It’s so great to _sea_ you again!”

The fish girl laughs, “It’s glubbing good to sea you too, Aradia. This time I’m not even dead!”

“I know, it’s so much more fun, no wait, _fin_ to be _eelive_ again, isn’t it?” Aradia perches just above the deck in some rigging, swinging her feet back and forth and looking happy as a clam.

“Good one! I was quite surprised when I woke up in my hive yesterday. I was shoal I was double dead! Do you know what happened? 38?” You blink a little after that. Did she just _say_ an emote?

“Not a clue! It’s exciting isn’t it?”

“Yes! I love a good mystery!”

The noise from the beach is getting louder. The flicker of colored lightning catches you eye. “Err… Not to be rude or anything, but should someone maybe try and get them to calm down?”

Dave facepalms beside you, mumbling something about Karkat. Feferi and Aradia both look over to the two arguing, then look at each other.

“I think it’s platonic.” Feferi is tapping a finger to her lips, making a slight grimace.

“I don’t think they need mediation; I think they just need to stop.”

“Yeah… I don’t reely want to risk getting caught up between them if they start up again.”

“It’s okay, Feferi, I’ll do it. Just encase, can you stop one of them if they try and kill each other.”

“Okay. We should go.”

You’re wondering whether to just make peace with the fact that you are missing some important context for every single conversation you’ve had since the victory platform. Someone is going to have to catch you up on a lot of stuff once everything calms down.

Ha! Once everything calms down.

Oh wow, you need to work on that pessimism.

The two girls walk/fly over to the guys still shouting at each other on the beach. At least this time you can’t hear every single word, you, Vriska, and Dave just stand in awkward silence and try not to stare.

It takes a few minutes, but then Aradia and Feferi both leap back onto the deck the guys tailing them. You all watch silently as the two board the ship, Sollux by flying and Eridan by the gangplank.

“I’m going back to my hive. I want to track that meththage and altho I don’t want to be here. AA, wanna come?” Sollux looks over to were Aradia has been patiently waiting by Feferi.

The girl seems to think it over, and then shakes her head. “No, I think I’ll stay here for now. But you should go and try and find the person who messaged us, I think it’s really important.”

“Thure you want to thtay on crazy aththhole thhip?”

“Yep! Also, I’m still keeping the ghosts from incapacitating Dave, so it would be rude to leave.” You don’t think Dave catches you catching him flinch. Aradia leaving would probably be a bad thing.

“Alright, meththage me if you change your mind. I’m leaving before you dipthhitth can rope me into more bullthhit.” With that he lifts back up off the deck with blue and red sparks. Aradia waves as he vanishes inland.

Vriska breaks the quiet with a question you hadn’t thought of yet. “Soooooooo, what now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're not even near the first intermission yet. I have an outline of like, 70 bullet points and I struggle to even cover one a chapter. I'm proud of myself for being able to cover 2 in this one.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the update!


	8. Act 2 Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some spacey girls and rosemary angst!  
> Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!!!!!!

Your name is JADE HARLEY and you are excited!

You’re a tiny bit tired. It turns out sleep doesn’t come as easily to trolls as it does to humans, but for once in your life your narcolepsy has worked out in your favor so you’re only a little tired instead of very tired. Equius came over as soon as night fell, and you gave him and Nepeta some space by exploring around the outside of the cave. You spent most of the last three years asleep, trying to reach the dream bubbles. You never got to see the alpha versions of anyone, or any humans other than two dead yous, but every version of Nepeta you ever met was wonderful and you would talk and play around until you woke up. You’re not sure about the details of moirailegence, but it seems really sweet and a tad private. You never met any versions of Equius, so it’s a little… intense… yeah, that word is appropriate, meeting him for the first time.

You three spend the entire… morning?.. clearing out rockfalls and oh boy do you miss your space powers. You could have cleared all this out in two shakes of your tail without any risk of a cave in. It’s not that you can’t help move the rocks, your Gal Gumption is off the charts, in fact, it broke the charts years ago.

You just want to do something else.

The loot you find in one of the side caves more than makes up for it. Equius explains that all trolls much be proficient in many specibi, most choosing to specialize in one. This explains the chest containing an absolute beauty of a rifle that you find in perfect working order under several years’ worth of cave-in dust.

“You can keep it. I was nefur very good at riflekind. I purrfur my claws, they’re much more fun.” Nepeta wiggles her claws with a cat’s grin on her face.

“I promise I’ll pay you back some day.”

“Hmm… How about you come hunting with me later?”

“Deal!”

It takes hours before all the rubble is clear. It turns out Netepa’s hive/cave is a lot bigger than you thought it was. A curtain covers a hole in the very back of the used caverns, and when you pull it aside stale air and darkness greets you.

“How far down does this go?” You turn to talk over your shoulder while Nepeta leans in.

She hums, “I’m not spuurrr… My lusus went down there sometimes but never let me go too fur in. Pounce always said it’s too whiskery.”

“I would advise against undue risk at the moment.”

“Equius why do you have to be no furun!?”

“I am merely watching out for your safety Nepeta. It your lusus didn’t want you to go down there I respect their judgement.”

You pout, “If I still had my spacey powers, I could tell exactly how deep it goes.”

“Equius and I nefur understood our pawers. We nefur needed them in the game. The only of us who used them were TZ, Aradia, and Vwiskers.”

“I never used mine until I went godtier. I kind of miss them. It’s like I had supervision and now I’m blind.”

“Hmm… I guess you’ll have to learn how to see again.” You don’t look away from the darkness. There’s… something… down there. Something important. Like there’s a whisper in your ear, telling you to go down.

“Jade?”

You tear your eyes away from the darkness and force a smile. “I guess I will! I wonder if I’m still as good a shot without them?”

A gleam enters Nepeta’s olive speckled eyes, “How about we go hunting and you can find out?”

“That sounds fun! I haven’t hunted in so long, not since my island.”

“Then let’s go! I’ll go get Equius!” With that she runs back up to the better lit and more used rooms of the cave.

It’s been so long since you’ve gone hunting. You can’t call what you did on the yellow road hunting. The three planets left had kept spawning underlings, but these were ones meant for godtiers. Whenever you needed to _move_ you had gone down to Rose’s planet, or Dave’s, and picked a fight with the meanest one you could find. You had always won.

You cast your gaze back to the darkness one last time before the curtain falls. You don’t know what’s down there, and you aren’t sure what’s telling you something is.

Hunting on Alternia is way more exciting than it ever was on Earth. The biggest game on your island were pigs, not wild boars, pigs that some sailors had dropped off hundreds of years ago and had gone feral. Maybe if you had lived on the mainland you would have found more interesting things to track, like bears or moose. You would have loved to go north and hunt a polar bear; it would have been a real challenge instead of just following something and killing it. You always thought hunting was boring if you prey couldn’t fight back and didn’t stand a chance.

Alternia is different.

Alternia has wild and feral lusii as big as tractor trailers who want a snack of troll meat.

You’re sitting high up in a tree, leaning against the trunk and waiting. Equius is on the ground bellow you, waiting in ambush for Nepeta to lure something close enough. The small scope on top of your rifle isn’t very powerful, but it’s perfect for this thick forest. Moonlight steams through the leaves above, casting purple and green splotches of color to accent the oddly shaded forest. You can’t hear anything yet, but you aren’t worried. Nepeta can yowl louder than any cat and with your new hearing you would be able to hear her from miles away. For now, you’re going to enjoy the view as you wait.

You wish you had lab equipment with you! You want to start taking samples of every plant you can find for chemical analysis. Most of these plants seem to be photosynthesizing moonlight, and you want to sink your fingers into their chemical structure and see how they work. From the tiny glimpse of sunlight you got yesterday you can tell this planet is on the very inner edge of the goldilocks zone. God, this is a planet that can support life in a way completely different but drastically the same as Earth and you want to study _everything_! You need to figure out which troll can get you star charts and data archives so you can bug them until they give it to you!

Just the implications of megafauna alone would keep you busy for a year! If troll civilization formed in a way similar to human civilization _and_ there’s megafauna around then trolls have been around for a very long time. Did they cultivate it to be this big? You need to know, and you need to know _yesterday_!

You start to hear crashing from far enough away that you can’t tell much from the sound alone, but it’s getting closer. The closer it get’s the bigger it feels. Whatever Nepeta is leading into your trap is bigger than her, but by how much you’re unsure.

The girl bursts from the bush line and claws up the tree across from you to get a better angle. You can see the manic gleam in her eye from all the way over here.

“Nepeta, what did you…“ Whatever Equius was about to ask, he’s cut off as a huge animal barrels into the clearing. The white is saturated with colored moonlight, it’s hide is clearly thicker than most Earth animals. The beast is the size of a Rhino. It looks like a mutated bear, something you’d see in nuclear apocalypse stories.

You level your rifle and pull the trigger. Your aim is as true as it has always been, and the creature roars as the bullet sinks into its neck. Teal blood seeps out, but it’s not doing the damage you wanted. You load another bullet into the camber and send it flying just as Nepeta leaps from above. The second round buries itself in the animal’s muzzle just as Nepeta lands on its back and sinks her claws in around the spine.

The fight is short. You’re used to hunting alone, so doing it with someone else who has arguably more experience than you makes everything go faster.

Equius grumbles something about beautiful woodland creatures, but his moirail seems to ignore it so you do too.

You’re in the middle of helping haul your quarry back to Nepeta’s cave when your barrowed PDA buzzes. The troll who types in yellow sends you a weird attachment that you translate with ease. Grandpa would be proud of you for remembering after all these years.

But whose Hal?

Whatever, you’ll think about it later. Nepeta and Equius are talking about something, so you listen in.

“It is far too dangerous for you to go out exploring on your own. You don’t have your lusus to help and protect you anymore.”

“I can take care of myself! This forest is different, and I want to know why!”

“Nepeta, you are very _strong,_ but I do not know if it would be wise.”

“You could come too.”

“I have important business that needs attending too. Also, I’m not very good at exploring and you know this.”

“What if… Jade came with me? Jade! You like explurring, right?”

“I love exploring!”

Equius seems to think that over, glancing you up and down. “Fine. Don’t do anything too foolish. I’ll have a meal ready at your hive when you return.”

“Yay! You’re the best!” Nepeta hugs Equius, looking like a little kid in a candy store who was just handed fifty dollars. She grabs you by the claw and you manage a wave before the two of you are diving into the undergrowth.

It isn’t long before you find something. You’re suspicious that Nepeta already knew this was here, but simply didn’t mention she’d already found something she wanted to explore.

The gash in the ground is long and wide enough for a person to fit down it easily. If you didn’t know better you would say it looked new, maybe a few years old for the plant life to cling to the edges of the cut, but no more.

“I don’t remeowber this being here befur.” Nepeta is leaning into the gap in the ground, trying to look around inside. There’s a lot of empty space under your feet.

“Do you see anything?”

“No, it’s a drop and then the floor seems flat.”

“How much of a drop?”

“If we went down, we could jump back out.”

You feel a grin come over your face. You haven’t had a proper adventure in years. Even if it is just an empty hole, you want to find out. “You want to go exploring?”

Nepeta just grins and leaps down into the hole. You follow her without a second thought, the rifle slung across your back a familiar feeling you had almost forgotten. The ground underfoot when you land in a crouch is smooth stone, like a well-worn path. She was right, it’s dark down here even for your nocturnal eyes, and the cave fades out into a bend five meters to your right.

You glance at Nepeta and share a grin, the two of you scampering forward with barely a care in the world.

The tunnel twists and turns, but never branches. This is good because without your space powers you’d get hopelessly lost if it was a labyrinth. The floor is sloped ever so slightly down, and your PDAs lose signal after ten minutes of scampering. The walls remain dry the entire way. This feel less like a cave and more like a garden path that happens to be surrounded by rock on all sides. It’s _too_ uniform.

You can smell when the air gets fresher. There must be an opening somewhere up ahead. Nepeta jumps ahead of you and peels around a corner, with you barely containing laughter at her heels. Her cat thing is so adorable.

You can’t stop before barreling into her where she froze. Nepeta is lithe as a cat, and you are very much _not_ small. The two of you tumble out into the expanse you only caught a glimpse of, a jumble of claws and paws and tail and your horns.

You’re both laughing as the world stops rolling and you can extricate your limbs. You stop laughing when you see where you are. It’s like your island but underground. High above, further than you thought it would be, a slit in the ground opens up and bright moonlight pours through. The moonlight splashes onto an old temple, the frog chipped and weathered but intact enough to be recognizable. The dais in the middle stretches high above your heads, and you’re sure four pillars would stand at the cardinal points of the room if you looked.

You recognize the writing on the wall, not that you can read it, but it’s there for all too see. You’re in a frog temple.

“I thought you guys only had two temples?” Nepeta is still on the ground beside you, looking around.

“We did. Kanaya lives in one and Aradia excavated the other before vwhiskers killed her.” There’s hesitance in her voice, but she leaps to her feet and holds out a hand, “It would be silly to _not_ explore now.”

You take it and jump to your feet. Maybe this temple will be like your old one. “Yeah! I bet we could find so many interesting things in here.”

“Yay! Let’s go!”

The two of you scour the temple. It’s not laid out the same as your island, not at all in fact. It appears to be a single room, that is until Nepeta sniffs out a secret entrance behind the dais. The air down there is still fresh, so the two of you plunge into the depths.

It's ten meters, and then you come out into a much smaller room. A computer screen and buttons face you.

-

Your name is TEREZI PYROPE and you’re kind of wondering where to go from here. You’re back in you hive with all the curtains drawn. You’re already blind so it doesn’t so much matter, but sunlight is really fucking hot.

Your respiteblock is worse for wear after a drone tour through it, but you can’t bring yourself to care enough to fix much. This isn’t your block anymore, and it hasn’t been for a sweep. Being back here feels weird, and annoying, and inconvenient, and possibly just a little scary.

You had gotten used to the idea of living it up with the humans on a planet that resembled theirs more than it did yours. You were looking forward to it. A sun you could go outside under, forests you could just dick around in, being able to tell a highblood exactly what they could shove up their shoot and not getting culled for it. It would have had its problems, and you may have needed to handle your moirail a little more to keep her out of trouble, but it would have been great.

And now you’re… back here…

You missed Alternia at first, you know you did, you told people you did.

But what’s here for you? You just had to climb back into your hive at the crack of dawn to avoid being culled for your blindness. Blindness that is barely even a disability for you. Your moirail and best friend are currently dodging drones. Your other best friend is in even worse straights than you are. _You_ aren’t a ‘cull on sight’ target.

What’s the very best-case scenario here? You somehow don’t get culled, become a Legislacerator, get stuck overseeing some far of planet. Vriska get’s her own command and is sent off to fight somewhere else. Kanaya gets trapped in the caverns. Rose gets a choice between playing court for Condy or a command of her own on the other side of the galaxy. Dave seemingly has psionics now, so he’ll get carted off with Aradia and run into the ground either as batteries or grunts. Karkat gets culled.

But that’s not what would happen. Your Seer powers are gone but anyone with half a brain knows exactly what’s going to happen. You’re all going to die because the lynchpin is marked for death. Karkat _is_ going to be culled, there’s no way around it. Dave won’t be able to stand by, which means you and Rose won’t, which means Kanaya and Vriska won’t. John and Jade will get dragged in there somewhere, so will Aradia and Sollux and Feferi and Nepeta, and then everyone else will go down with you.

You’re all fucked!

You don’t notice the sound your husktop is making for an embarrassingly long time. Any idea of cleaning your block has been abandoned, as has any idea of sleep. There is stuff everywhere, you’ve got a scalemate for every player, and no matter how you move them most of you end up dead within two sweeps.

You notice the pings when they start to sound strategic, like the person on the other end knows the exact time a noise will bother you most.

\-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

AA: hey!  
AA: theres something really important i want to talk to you about  
AA: its something that may be able to help us if we can figure out how to use it  
AA: …  
AA: terezi?  
AA: .  
AA: .  
AA: ribbit  
AA: i dont actually need to do that anymore but i find it funny  
GC: DO 1 H34R SOM3TH1NG 4BOUT 1MPORT4NT 3V1D3NC3 TH4T H4S Y3T TO B3 G1V3N TO TH3 PROS3CUT1ON?  
GC: B3C4US3 1F SO 1 WOULD L1K3 TO R3QU3ST 1T R1GHT NOW  
AA: yes! it is very similar to evidence  
AA: do you remember how unlucky vriska was before she godtiered?  
GC: Y3S, SO UNLUCKY TH4T SH3 H4D H3LP W1TH 1T  
AA: no permanent harm was done  
AA: but back on track!  
AA: i’m alive again  
AA: vriska still has her arm and eye and shes been really lucky outside of the part where the drones tried to kill john and then us  
AA: tavros has informed me that gamzee appears sane again which is great in and of itself  
GC: 1’M NOT SUR3 WH4T TH1S 1S 3V1D3NC3 OF?  
AA: but there are two really big things  
AA: time players always have a perfect sense of time no mater what  
AA: if the game is gone why can i still hear it?  
GC: WH4T DO YOU M34N?  
AA: we landed on alternia 30 hours 23 minutes 9 seconds 234 milliseconds ago as soon as i hit send on this message  
AA: if this is the same alternia the first player booted into our session 1 sweep 9 perigees 13 days 10 hours 32 minutes 46 seconds 875 milliseconds ago  
AA: i can still hear that clock and if the game is gone i shouldnt be able to anymore  
GC: OK4Y, WH4TS TH3 OTH3R P13C3 OF 3V1D3NC3?  
AA: is flashstepping a human power? Just something they can do?  
GC: NO, ROS3 LOOK3D 1NTO 1T ONC3  
GC: 1T’S TH1S W13RD W34PON SP3C1F1C FR4YMOT1F TH4T YOU COULD US3 W1TH SWORDK1ND  
GC: 1 N3V3R GOT 1T, BUT OF COURS3 G4MZ33 D1D B3C4US3 1T’S FUCK1NG G4MZEE  
AA: so it is definitely a game power?  
GC: Y3S 4ND 1 F33L 1 KNOW WH3R3 TH1S 1S GO1NG >:/  
AA: dave keeps doing it, but i dont think hes noticed  
GC: DO YOU M1ND 1F 1 4DD ROS3 TO TH1S CH4T?  
AA: go ahead, i tried messaging her but she wasnt responding  
GC: 1’LL 4DD K4N4Y4 TOO  
GC: ON3 OF TH3M W1LL S33 TH1S

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] has invited tentacleTherapist [TT] to the chat --

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] has invited grimAuxiliatrix [GA] to the chat --

GA: I’m Afraid We’re Both A Little Preoccupied At The Moment  
GA: How Urgent Is This  
AA: it may be faster for you to read the backlog its very short  
TT: I have told that idiot flashstepping is a game power nearly one thousand times.  
TT: It’s nice to have confirmation that he doesn’t listen to a word I say.  
GC: D1D YOU NOT G3T TH4T 4FT3R H3 4ND K4RK4T STOL3 TH3 BOOK YOU W3R3 WORK1NG ON 4ND DR3W D1CKS 4LL OV3R 1T?  
TT: Let me amend my previous statement.  
TT: I have added onto the pile of countless examples and confirmations that my brother doesn’t pay attention to anything and this is merely another piece of straw on a very strained back.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] left the chat --

GA: While This Information Is Very Important I Was Being Serious About Our Current Preoccupation  
GA: Terezi I Trust You To Take The Lead On This In The Mean Time  
GA: Rose Also Says She Trusts You  
GA: I Would Ask That You Don’t Involve Her In This Until Tomorrow  
GC: 1S SOM3TH1NG WRONG?  
GA: Nothing Life Threatening

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] left the chat --

GC: OH GR34T  
GC: NOW *1’M* 1N CH4RG3  
GC: FUCK TH4T, 1’M SUR3 K4RK4T N33EDS SOM3TH1NG TO DO  
AA: it is sometimes the roll of seers to lead  
AA: you did really well during our session  
GC: Y3P 4ND TH3N 1T 4LL BL3W UP 4ND 1 TR13D TO K1LL VR1SK4 TO SOLV3 1T  
GC: 1 KNOW K4RK4T H4T3S 1T 4ND H4S SWORN TO N3V3R SO MUCH 4S ORG4N1ZE 4 COMUN1TY C3NT3R  
GC: BUT 1 TRUST H1M NOT TO G3T 4NYON3 K1LL3D FOR ST4T4GY  
AA: that seems fair  
AA: id offer but leading has never been one of my strengths  
AA: john would be a good pick but hes not alternian  
GC: NO, 4ND 3V3N THOUGH H3’S ROS3 4ND D4V3’S B3ST FR13ND 1 DON’T KNOW H1M TOO W3LL  
AA: hmm  
AA: what about tavros?  
GC: TH3 PROBL3M W1TH TH4T 1S 1 DON’T KNOW WH4T H3 *D1D*  
GC: 1 H4V3N’T T4LK3D TO H1M S1NC3 B3FOR3 VR1SKA K1LL3D H1M  
AA: i think it would be beneficial to everyone if you do that!  
AA: pages are the strongest class in normal games and he got really good in the bubbles  
GC: TH1S 1S GO1NG TO B3 4 N1GHTM4R3  
AA: yes it is!  
GC: T1M3 TO ST4RT H3RD1NG M3OWB34STS  
GC: YOU C4N K33P 3V3RYON3 YOU’R3 W1TH 4L1V3 FOR NOW, R1GHT?  
AA: oh yes we’re having fun  
GC: M4K3 SUR3 1T DO3SN’T G3T BLOODY  
AA: of course! We need everyone alive and working together for this!

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA] --

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

GC: K4RK4T  
CG: WHAT?  
GC: DO YOU W4NT TH3 LONG V3RS1ON OR TH3 SHORT V3RS1ON?  
CG: OH GOD THIS CAN’T BE GOOD.  
CG: SHORT THEN LONG.  
GC: TH3 G4M3 1S ST1LL RUNN1NG SOM3WH3R3  
CG: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT? YOU SAID YOU COULDN’T USE ANY OF YOUR SEER POWERS ANYMORE.  
GC: 1 C4N’T, BUT SOM3 SM4LL H1NTS K33P CROPP1NG UP  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?  
GC: 4R4D14 C4N ST1LL F33L T1M3 4ND D4V3 C4N ST1LL FL4SHST3P  
GC: 1F OUR T1M3 PL4Y3RS C4N ST1LL 4CC3SS *4NY* OF TH31R POW3RS TH3N TH3 G4M3 MUST ST1LL B3 WORK1NG  
GC: W3 JUST N33D TO F1GUR3 OUT HOW TO G3T 1T 4LL B4CK  
CG: WHY? SO THAT SOME OF YOU CAN HAVE SLIGHTLY MORE SUCCESFUL MILITARY CAREERS AND MAYBE BE IMMORTAL?  
GC: NO DUMB4SS SO W3 DON’T 4LL FUCK1NG D13!  
GC: UNL3SS YOU’V3 SOM3HOW FORGOTT3N H4LF OF US 4R3 M4RK3D FOR D34TH OR TORTUR3  
CG: YOU KNOW, I *DID* FORGET ABOUT THAT. HOW SILLY OF ME. IT’S NOT LIKE THIS IS A DAYMARE COME TO BITE US IN THE ASS FOR NO FUCKING REASON.  
CG: YES, I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT HOW I AM ONCE AGAIN NOT GOING TO LIVE TO ADULTHOOD.  
CG: AND NOT ONLY THAT, YOU, TAVROS, GAMZEE AND ME ARE ALL CULLED, FEFERI GETS RUN THROUGH WITH A FORK, KANAYA GETS LOCKED IN THE CAVERNS, AND SOLLUX, ARADIA, AND NOW DAVE ALL GET TURNED INTO BATTERIES.  
CG: I TOTALLY FORGOT!  
GC: OH MY FUCK1NG GOD 1 FORGOT HOW US3LESS YOU C4N B3 WH3N YOU’R3 P4N1CK1NG  
CG: THAT’S ME! FUCKING USELESS!  
GC: SHUT UP FOR TWO S3CONDS B3FOR3 1 4SK SOLLUX TO BLOW UP YOUR HUSKTOP!  
GC: ROS3 1S DOWN FOR SOM3 FUCK1NG R34SON TH4T K4N4Y4 WON’T T3LL M3 4ND VR1SK4 1S 4 B4TTL3 ST4T1G1ST NOT A L34D3R!  
GC: JOHN 1SN’T 4LT3RN14N, T4VROS PULL3D SOM3 COOL SH1T 1N TH3 DR34MBUBBL3S BUT 1 DON’T KNOW WH4T 4ND 4LT3RN14 1S MOR3 BLOODY TH3N THOS3 TH1NGS 3V3R W3R3  
GC: 1 G1V3 US ON3 MOR3 MOONS3T B3FOR3 3V3RYTH1NG GO3S TO SH1T 4ND SOM3ON3 LOS3S TH31R N3RV3  
GC: YOU’R3 TH3 ONLY ON3 WHO W4S 3V3R 4NY GOOD 4T K33P1NG US 4LL TOG3TH3R 4ND 4L1V3!  
CG: HA!  
CG: NO I FUCKING WASN’T!  
CG: IF YOU SOMEHOW DIDN’T NOTICE HALF OF US DIED ON MY WATCH!  
GC: OH SHUT UP 4ND STOP MO4N1NG 4BOUT TH4T L1K3 4 W1GGL3R!  
GC: LORD 3NGL1SH H4D 4LR34DY W1GGL3D H1S GROSS GR33N 4SS 1NTO G4MZ33’S TH1NKP4N, SO TH4T W4SN’T YOUR F4ULT  
GC: TH3 B4RD OF R4G3 G3TS COMPROM1S3D 4ND SUDD3NLY 3V3RYON3 ST4RTS K1LL1NG 34CHOTH3R? *NO SH1T!!!!!!!!*  
GC: TH3 F4CT TH4T 4NY OF US GOT OUT OF TH4T DOC L1M3Y C33S3 P1T 1S 4 M1R4CL3  
GC: NOTH1NG F3LL 4P4RT ON YOUR W4TCH! W3 W3R3 OUTPL4Y3D BY 4N OMN1SC13NT 4SSHOL3!!!!  
GC: 444444RRRGG!  
GC: 1F YOU H4D BOTH3R3D TO PULL YOUR H34D OUT OF YOUR SPH1NCT3R SOM3 T1M3 1N TH3 L4ST SW33P YOU WOULD H4V3 KNOWN TH1S  
GC: G3USS WH4T? 3V3RY S1NGL3 ON3 OF OUR L1V3S 4R3 ON TH3 L1N3 4G14N  
GC: 4ND YOU’R3 GO1NG TO H4V3 TO SH4P3 UP 4ND PULL US THROUGH 1T B3C4US3 YOU 4R3 TH3 ONLY ON3 WHO C4N  
CG: AND IF I SCREW UP AGAIN WHAT’S TO KEEP EVERYONE FROM DYING THIS TIME? SOME OF THESE ASSHOLES COULD FUCK OFF AND LIVE HAPPY LONG LIVES!  
GC: YOU 1D1OT!  
GC: TH3Y C4N’T! NON3 OF US C4N! W3’R3 4LL H3RO1C DUMB4SS3S 4ND TH3 DRON3S W1LL H4V3 TO W4D3 THROUGH R41NBOW BLOOD TO G3T TO 4NY OF US!  
GC: DO YOU TH1NK W3’LL 4LL ST4ND BY 4S K4N4Y4 G3TS SHOV3D 1N TH3 C4V3S? DO YOU TH1NK W3 WON’T TRY 4ND STOP TH3M TURN1NG OUR FR13NDS 1NTO B4TT3R13S? DO YOU TH1NK TH4T 3V3RYON3 WOULD JUST L3T YOU OR 1 B3 CULL3D?  
GC: 1 KNOW YOU TH1NK B3TT3R OF 4LL OF US TH4N TH4T SO STOP D1LUD1NG YOURS3LF 1NTO TH1NK1NG 4NY OF US H4V3 4N OUT!  
GC: NOW ST4RT F1GUR1NG OUT WH4T TO DO SO W3 C4N DR4G 16 H3RO1C, CH4OT1C STUP1D 4SSHOL3S THROUGH HUM4N H3LL!

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

This is the only chance any of you have. You can’t fuck it up this time.

-

Your name is KANAYA MARYAM and your girlfriend held out admirably long before dissolving into a complete mental breakdown. She answered a few messages, and after she had nothing else immediate to take care of, she broke down into hysterical sobbing. The two of you are currently curled up on you couch with every shade in the hive drawn. The sun is starting to rise, and as much as you’ve dreamed of showing Rose an Alternian sunrise she’s no longer human and also not a Jadeblood and probably couldn’t take it.

So, you sit in the dark, cradling her through fits of tears. Rose joked once about her ‘ugly crying’ but you never understood it. She couldn’t be ugly if she tried. While it wasn’t a pleasant beauty and it made your bloodpusher ache in a way that was startlingly pale, she was still beautiful even with violet tears streaming down her newly grey skin.

You only wish you had gotten there sooner so she wouldn’t have had to land any killing blows. Your sample size is admittedly tiny, but you’ve suspected more and more that the differences between trolls and humans were little, so even though Rose looks like a troll and is in a sea dweller body, she’s still human.

You’re not sure if telling her that would be a comfort right now.

“I-I could have done something. I could have talked them down. God, I could have talked my way out of it. There’s always a way.” Her voice is cracking in an odd way, muscle memories clashing with new vocal cords you assume, “If I still had my powers, I could have done it. I’m fucking useless. I’m worse than useless. I lose them and suddenly I’m that stupid kid Scratch manipulated into blowing herself up without even trying. I _killed people_. I-I-I…” She collapses again after echoing the same words she’s said over and over again. You’ve never seen her anywhere near this distraught, but you understand her actions mean different things to the two of you. To you, you can only bring yourself to say the events have been unfortunate because of the distress it has brought your love. To her, she’s talking herself up into convincing herself she’s a monster.

“Rose, can you hear me?” She’s still wracked with barely withheld sobs, but you detect a slight nod. “Rose, what would have happened if you hadn’t done anything?”

She looks up at you, slight confusion drawing her brow together, “What… what do you mean?”

“If they had attacked you and you hadn’t retaliated, what would have happened?”

“I don’t know. I can’t See anymore. It’s all I had going for me. I’m a horrid fighter on my own.” She isn’t, she’s far from it, but that’s a problem for later. The current problem of talking her down from the emotional lava mountain she’s climbed is far more pressing.

“That’s okay, you don’t need to See everything, you never have. Rose, you are the smartest person I know, and nothing can change that.” Her tears are spilling onto your hands as you cup her face, trying desperately to calm her. Your relationship isn’t pale, but any relationship with a human is going to be somewhat smeared and you’re okay with that.

“I-I’m not sure. I don’t know why they attacked me in the first place. I didn’t have any valuables; I was just walking.”

“They attacked you because they wanted you dead and for no other reason. I’m so sorry I thought the way would be abandoned. Alternia isn’t like Earth. No one needs a reason to attack you. The fact that you were a troll, specifically a sea dweller, traveling alone was enough.”

You can tell she’s calming down. The wild look in her eyes is dimming, some other emotion taking its place. She looks… resigned? “This is not going to be the last time this happens, is it?”

You can’t lie to her. You love her too much for that. “It will not. Just as few land dwellers can go out to sea without being attacked, so too can few sea dwellers come on land without the same risk.”

She’s quiet for a moment, somehow looking more regal than any violet blood would dare. “I can’t go back in the sea. All I could taste was brine and salt and cold. It was like drowning in a horrorterror all over again.” Rose finally looks up, meeting you eye to eye. The old purple has been smothered by adolescent grey, but shards of violet like crystal break up the flat, dull color. “If I’m not welcome on land I shall simply have to hide.”

You reach up and cup her cheek, running your thumb under her eye. It’s a pale gesture. She leans into it, covering your claws with her own and sighing. “I wouldn’t dream of calling a place home without you to share it with.” Tears of a different kind are falling down Rose’s face, and they cast the most beautiful light you’ve ever seen.

“Then we’ll hide together.”

Your PDA and Rose’s start buzzing at the same time, and you silently curse the fact that you’re all codependent meddlers.

You grab Rose’s claws in your own on her way to reach for the PDA. “I’ll see what it is. You need to rest for a moment.” She acquiesces after a moment, and you tap open a new group message you and Rose have been added to.

“Oh dear.” It escapes your lips before you can stop it, and Rose is at the group chat like lightning.

She sits calmly beside you, typing out less than a handful of responses before exiting the chat and placing the PDA face down on a side table. You can feel her seething, though at what you are not sure. It’s not at Dave for being a tad oblivious about an ability he’s had all his life, you know that much.

She’s ridged. You can see the muscles under her skin cording with the effort of whatever she’s holding back.

“They’re still all there.” It’s a whisper, nothing more. A breath of words that escape her lips. “My _Sight_. It’s there somewhere, but it… it stopped. It’s not where it used to be. Why did we all just assume our powers were gone? Why did I never look? I’m a Seer, it’s my job to look but I never did. I just… assumed they were gone when I didn’t find them instantly…” She trails off, looking at her claws, clenching and unclenching them. Not for the first time you wish you could read what was going on inside her head. “If I had only looked, I could have avoided killing them.”

With a smooth motion Rose stands and flips the side table where her PDA rested. The scream that tears past her lips is pain and frustration and agony beyond measure.

-

Your name is NEPETA LEIJON and you’re about to press a button. Jade is leaning over you shoulder, trying to decipher the letters as best she can. The only troll you know who might be able to read this is Aradia, but she’s still out of range underground somewhere, just like you and Jade are right now. The button is just sitting there, bright red. It has a symbol that kind of looks like a mangled pause button. It’s begging to be pushed.

You press your paw and feel a click beneath the button.

“ **Welcome Rouge of Heart, Witch of Space.** ” The voice is genderless and toneless, emanating from you don’t know where. The screen in front of you two lights up, blue and white clouds drifting across. You’re a derse dreamer, but skaia is unmistakable.

**Recalibrating Session.**

A spirograph takes up most of the screen, pulsing every color thinkable. You and Jade share a look, her ears are pressed flat against her hair. Yours are too.

**Session Status: Corrupted.  
Attempting Game Data Retrieval.**

Numbers and words start flashing over the screen, too fast for you too read. You catch a few names, titles, words here and there, but nothing more.

**Retrieval Partially Successful.  
Attempting to Implement New Parameters.**

The screen goes black and before either of you can do so much as twitch, data starts scrolling across it.

**Session: Beforus  
Status: Irretrievable**

**Session: Alternia  
Status: 90% Retrievable**

**Session: Earth Beta  
Status: 50% Retrievable. Player Data Corrupted**

**Session: Earth Alpha  
Status: Player Retrieval Only**

**Session: End Point  
Status: Player Retrieval Only. Player Data Corrupted**

**Win Status: Corrupted**

**Initiate Emergency Protocol 1025: Priority Player Retrieval  
[yes/no]**

Jade leans over the keyboard and types in yes, glancing to you and back to the screen as she hits enter.

**Rerouting Players…**

**Planets Retrievable: Alternia, Earth Beta**

**Rerouting Players [Alternia, Earth Beta] Destination Alternia**

**Player Data [Earth Beta] Corrupted**

**Use Emergency Backup Player Template: Beforus  
[yes/no]**

Jade types in yes again.

**Player Reroute Successful**

**Rerouting Players [Earth Alpha, End Point] Destination Earth Beta**

**Player Data [End Point] Corrupted**

**Use Emergency Backup Player Template: Earth Beta  
[yes/no]**

Yes.

**Player Reroute Successful**

**Processing…**

**Godtier Status: Corrupted**

**Initiating Emergency Protocol 612: Echeladder Dormancy**

**Win Status: Corrupted**

**Initiating Emergency Protocol 413: Substitute Win Condition**

**Win Status: Complete**

**Initializing…**

“ **Thanks for Playing!** ” The voice booms again over hidden speakers. The screen goes blank, with a flashing white bar up in the corner, as if it’s waiting for input.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized after writing the rest of the chapter that I don't know Nepeta's or Jade's voice very well... Oh Well!  
> Don't press buttons when you don't know what they do. I mean, unless you want to have fun!


End file.
